Do your parents approve? (1 Viewer)

Do your parents approve of your relationship?

  • Yes

    Votes: 46 42.2%
  • No

    Votes: 35 32.1%
  • They don't really care

    Votes: 28 25.7%

  • Total voters
    109

grk_styl

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Ok so I know this topic has been done before but I wanted to get a poll done and to see the general consensus on whether your parents approve of your relationship. It's been bugging me for awhile now that I'm in a relationship which my parents disapprove of and I've also heard of similar stories lately.

So! Pick an option on the poll!

edit: i'll go first...my parents don't approve. I don't particularly know why. Well, actually, I do know why. But their reasoning is so pathetic that I often forget why
 
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Skeeta

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yeah.. they love him actually which is a bit sickening

but he made me cry this one time and my dad didnt like him for about 5 microseconds
 
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nope. im too young they say. i was too young at 14, 16, 18 and am not sure when i do try i'll probably be too old.
 

ur_inner_child

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hell no

chris buys presents for them, learns a bit of Chinese, talks crap like biased-china-hugging-politics at the dinner table, tells them uber amazing future ambitions, treats me like a princess in front of them, washes the dishes, etc.

Prior to that I wasnt even allowed to know boys but anyway

last he ever interacted with them was:

chris says hello at one of my music festivals = parents ignore him.
 

Rafy

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My parents couldnt care less. As far as they are concerned its none of their business.

In fact they dont care much about anything i do.
 

Cykologi_gal

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ur_inner_child said:
hell no

chris buys presents for them, learns a bit of Chinese, talks crap like biased-china-hugging-politics at the dinner table, tells them uber amazing future ambitions, treats me like a princess in front of them, washes the dishes, etc.

Prior to that I wasnt even allowed to know boys but anyway

last he ever interacted with them was:

chris says hello at one of my music festivals = parents ignore him.
Woh such manners!

My parents are kinda divided on this topic - mum'll accept it, dad avoids the whole love topic like it's a household pest.

When I got my first guy at 14 and a bit...mum didn't go berserk, although she previously said (until I was 13) that I couldn't date until I turn 25 - Gimme a break...but she gave advice and all, even wanted me to learn knitting so I could knit a jumper for him lol. Well, being 14, I ignored all her advice...and he landed straight into my then best friend's arms.

Mum's never approved of me "chase 'n achieve" guys...says that I'd be more possessive if that happens - quite true actually. You'd think the guy's a treasure you've worked for...so you hold him more tightly...

She doesn't know about the current guy though, neither does my dad...I don't think I'd tell them anyway (he doubts he's allowed to date either)...because after all the high school episodes of unrequited love after the first dude, she's like: "That's it...it's uni now...look around for a few years but let the guys do the work." She also wouldn't approve because he's not Buddhist and Chinese or of Chinese "descent"...

Now she'd really go berserk if she knew that I'm dating in 1st year.

Dad, like I said, thinks that I should be a "shy little girl" who blushes everytime love is mentioned. Too bad I'm not like that anymore, I never actually was like that...he only tells me how bad men are and how women are easily "tricked" into believing the words that men say.

*sigh*

It's my life, I choose the theories that they give me...and it's my choice as to how I apply them.
 

withoutaface

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My parents trust my judgement for pretty much everything, so yeah, though I'm not seeing anyone now they wouldn't care either way.
 

(^o^)

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ur_inner_child said:
hell no

chris buys presents for them, learns a bit of Chinese, talks crap like biased-china-hugging-politics at the dinner table, tells them uber amazing future ambitions, treats me like a princess in front of them, washes the dishes, etc.

Prior to that I wasnt even allowed to know boys but anyway

last he ever interacted with them was:

chris says hello at one of my music festivals = parents ignore him.
:O....

I can so imagine that with my bf....

farrrrrkkk

he has to fobbify himself in order to meet my family..
 

grk_styl

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ur_inner_child said:
hell no

chris buys presents for them, learns a bit of Chinese, talks crap like biased-china-hugging-politics at the dinner table, tells them uber amazing future ambitions, treats me like a princess in front of them, washes the dishes, etc.

Prior to that I wasnt even allowed to know boys but anyway

last he ever interacted with them was:

chris says hello at one of my music festivals = parents ignore him.
wow! do you still have a strong relationship with ur parents, tho?

so how do you deal with your parents' disapproval?

i don't talk about my boyfriend infront of my parents (well technically my mum, since my dad doesn't know....like every wog father he thinks i'm going to be the virgin mary up until my wedding night). It just bugs me sometimes when my brother brings his girlfriend over everyday and we have "family" dinners, yet I can't bring my partner over. Thus I've decided to keep my boyfriend very separate from my family. Obviously it's for the better.

Then again, my parents' reasoning is stupid and pathetic. We have an age gap that they "don't approve of". Well as long as I approve, who the fuck cares? lol
 

martin88

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i dont really talk about girlfriends with my parents

my mum might ask the odd question..... or ask about a particular girl who might have called home a particular time/she's met ect

thats pretty much as far as it goes

i dont really see the point in saiing like hey mum and dad i have a girlfriend shes great ect ect

its probably a lot different for boys then it is for girls though
 

Serius

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Ive usually never blatantly told my parents about past relationships and ive never had to bring it up, in the future when i do tell them I am sure inside they will be releived and approving, because they went through a period were they werent sure i was hetrosexual.

I would like to say they wouldnt really care, but the truth is they trust me and anyone who i like, they will like. If for some reason they didnt really like her[into drugs or something, i dunno] then they just wouldnt care, not dissapprove
 

MzbLaZeIT

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i dont tell them nothing, they dont need to know
if they ask who im going out with i say a friend

if i tell my mum she'll be all like "awwww i wanna meet him, is he hot (lmao) is he nice bla bla bla how old aww how cute" and i cant be fucked for that..

when my mums like, whos the boy ur going out with this time, im like boyfriend number 3.. i got like 20 of em mum i cant keep up..... ha ha jokes around with her.. jst to brush it aside!

my last boyfriend was muslim, i didnt tell my mum about me and him going out she would shoot me (racist parents lmaooooo) but she did meet him a couple of times and said he was nice, which he was...

my dad thinks.. i dont know what he thinks lol i jst tell em im friends with every1..

i dont tell them shit.....
what for?
so my parents will know im having sex..
yeah no thanks!!!

ill bring "the one" home when i know its marriage, which will be about when im 25 lol until then, its all fun and games baby!
 

ur_inner_child

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grk_styl said:
wow! do you still have a strong relationship with ur parents, tho?
Well in honest truth no. I moved away from home twice. I'm still on my second one, and there is no possible way for me to come home.

Anyway the first time I left home was because I wanted to choose my HSC subjects, and not have them choose them for me. I also wanted them to accept Chris and let me see him. They said yes, but they only did exactly what I asked - ie let me see him (not often) and choose my subjects (but give me shit about it).

I moved out again a little while ago, but not because of the boyfriend reason, but more of how they needed to control and shape my life, about what degree I choose, who I see, how I act, what I dressed, it got beyond a joke, and it got a bit more intense when I started straying from their designated path in Year 12. They'd get pretty abusive so I left them late last year, with government support services aiding me through both emotional and financial problems I came across.

Been fending for myself these last 7 months. Leaving them initially was the most traumatising thing ever. They told me not to ever call them again and that they'd change numbers and move house (in which they did) and etc. Which, I would have to say, cutting contact from me proves that they couldn't ever really love me for who I am and what I wanted to be, but only love someone they dreamt of.

In which case I don't want to give off a vibe that those who have disapproving parents to go all out and rebel. I didn't do that. I did everything possible, sit down and talk, get family counselling etc.

Actually I hate that I've written so much now, cuz I'll get all these people saying "aww.... (F)" or whatever. I don't find it too bad. I do really really hate the fact that my parents couldn't give me any room to find out who I was or realise my potential. But it's not particularly a sad story. I'm in a good place now, I feel confident with myself and what I do, and I love who I am. I personally think a sad situation would be if I hadn't actually stood up for myself and stayed.

That's enough now :p

i don't talk about my boyfriend infront of my parents (well technically my mum, since my dad doesn't know....like every wog father he thinks i'm going to be the virgin mary up until my wedding night). It just bugs me sometimes when my brother brings his girlfriend over everyday and we have "family" dinners, yet I can't bring my partner over. Thus I've decided to keep my boyfriend very separate from my family. Obviously it's for the better.

Then again, my parents' reasoning is stupid and pathetic. We have an age gap that they "don't approve of". Well as long as I approve, who the fuck cares? lol
How large is the age gap anyway? You'll be what, 20 soon if not already and the age gap will seem less and less big.

How does your mum know? Has she met him?

My friend, who's italian is going out with a greek boy for three years. I don't know how long youve been with your boyfriend, but I've noticed that if you compare what it is now, and what it had been 3 years ago, so much has changed, simply through persistance and having him there often. The dad is still a bit uneasy but he tolerates her going out with her boyfriend because he knows him very well - contact numbers, who he hangs out with, which uni, where he works etc.

Otherwise, I definatley don't blame you for what you're doing.
 

katy-g

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i had to vote 'no' but its really not my answer.

My Mum doesnt disapprove of me having a relationship, she dosent disapprove my boyfriend, she just painly doesnt like us together. Apparently, separately we're wonderful people but together we're monsterus.

I dont see it, but yeh, she really does like being around us when we're together. i dunno y.
 

Project

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The usual bullshit from my parents is 'too young' and 'distracting from your studies'. Like martin88 and MzbLaZeIT, I steer away from any mention of the opposite sex and all girls are 'just friends' ;)
 

_muse_

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my parents didnt approve when i told them (mainly because he is 6 years older than me and i hid it from them for 7 months).... but i don't know, i kind of just told them to get over it and it was my decision, that if i got hurt it was my fault..

my boyfriend and i are living together now and ive never been happier, he knows how much shit my mother put me through so he knows he was never going to be accepted. mum is trying to see the good in him, but if her own daughters are never going to be good enough for her, how is anyone ever going to be seen as good in her eyes?

so i can't really put an answer in the poll.. i'll say its a 'sort of'
 

snickerdoodle

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My mum's in complete denial about my boyfriend, because "I'm too young". I think she thinks I'm going to drop out of Uni and elope or something.

She also thinks it's wrong because he's an 18 year old boy, and all 18 year old boys should fuck whomever they want until they're ready to get married while I wait virginally until this day (you can imagine the fights we've had about this).

I think a marginal problem is also the fact that he's Leb. He's Maronite so in her head we can come to some agreement about marriage and christenings, but she holds the hope that one day I will find a "nice Greek boy".

So basically, she's a nut job. My dad could care less as long as he doesn't see us making out somewhere.

I hate it because while my friends and hanging with their bfs at home or whatever (which is among other things soooo much cheaper), I have to so 100x more organisation to see him. I know in a couple of more years if we're still together she'll come around, but until then it's just constant fighting.

We've been together for 15 months, so hopefully they'll see the light sometime in the near future (although I wouldn't bet on it).
 

pinkblinkbarbie

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my parents love my boyfriend. mum always cooks what HE likes for dinner when he is over, asks when she gets to see him again, dad asks me to ask him over for another beer etc etc.
they liked my last boyfriend aswell, but dad likes me new one better. if dad likes someone, he talks, ever since day one with my new boyfriend he has talked. with my ex he hardly talked.
my parents are great.
 
J

jhakka

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My parents have never had a problem with it. They trust my judgement and know that I'm too arrogant to go out with an idiot or a slut.
 

grk_styl

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ur_inner_child said:
How large is the age gap anyway? You'll be what, 20 soon if not already and the age gap will seem less and less big.

How does your mum know? Has she met him?

My friend, who's italian is going out with a greek boy for three years. I don't know how long youve been with your boyfriend, but I've noticed that if you compare what it is now, and what it had been 3 years ago, so much has changed, simply through persistance and having him there often. The dad is still a bit uneasy but he tolerates her going out with her boyfriend because he knows him very well - contact numbers, who he hangs out with, which uni, where he works etc.

Otherwise, I definatley don't blame you for what you're doing.
I can understand why u don't want the sympathy vote. You don't tell your story to get that reaction. Actually, I do have to say that you've lived through a tremendous deal and the fact that you're still level-headed about a lot of things is really admiring. For you, it may have been more to do with your parents and you, and your boy just contributed to it. I don't think it's right to say to you, "ohh your situation is sad" because you most porbbaly aren't sad! You love your boyfriend, you're very happy! At some point you have to start creating your own family, so to speak. Yes, your parents are your parents, and always will be, but if they're going to be unreasonable, then you need to do something about it. I think you should be very proud of yourself.

To answer your questions, my boyfriend is younger than me. My mum told me he'd be the "perfect guy for me" if only he was a few years older. She use to be really good friends with his father, she knows his family, he's a good greek boy (I'm also Greek), so technically she shouldn't have a problem with it. Deep down I think she hates the fact I'm seeing someone because I've always been the baby of the family. My father told me I was a slut for dating someone younger lol But I do think you're right. In time they'll start to accept it. They will have to, I guess. My boyfriend says and does all the right things to my parents, shakes my father's hand, etc. But still to no avail.

snickerdoodle said:
but she holds the hope that one day I will find a "nice Greek boy".
ahh don't they all. Except one day you bring one home and they'll still crack a shit, coz he'll have white shoes on instead of black lol Hyprocritical parents. (Or maybe that's just mine :p) I hope your mum realises "nice Greek boys" are usually gay or in a 5 year relationship. lol
 

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