HSC suicides and depression (2 Viewers)

[HinikuTheNinja]

yal - Honestly? I wanted the - gah, I hate to say this - the pain to go away. Or the emptiness. The nothingness. Having nothing and no one and being no one and achieving nothing. I hated that, and I wanted to end it. I can't talk to my parents. My mother tends to go into hysterics (typical Asian) and my dad tends to yell. And he has heart problems, so I don't like putting -my- problems on to him. I let him pressure me, and I say nothing about it. But I dunno. Tis confuzzling.

ninny-mole - exactly my problem. I have serious communication problems when talking face-to-face with people. Sometimes I can do it through writing - like on forums, or on my livejournal, or in an email, or on msn, etc - but I find it incredibly hard to talk to people. It's like I need to trust people in order to talk to them, but I have trust issues from things in the past I'd rather not say. And yeah...

dagwoman - thanks.

fitness - ...huh?

 

[Fitness]

Hey Ninny Mole your ok.
Just read you bit now. My cus got sick in yr10 and delayed his yr 11 for a yr.
Did you know that there's heaps of places to go to and ring up.
I found out that depression has another name like Black dog. You mite think ur alone but ur not. I f you thiink somethin else is wrong then thats ok too cause I think it can make you feel like that.

i looked up sum sites for you - but dont email. You dont know who you mite get. Best if you chat - sounds like you wanna chat - thats good.

There's a place on the central coast thats specially for with teens.
Ph 02 432 02111

http://www.caah.chw.edu.au/

Kids Helpline (24-hour phone counselling for children and teenagers under 18): 1800 55 1800

Giv it a go if u want

 

[Sprinkles~]

I can't speak for other people, but I find that when I'm upset, talking to people is the hardest thing. Despite the support of my family and friends, there are still alot of issues that I can't talk to them about. I used to get pressured alot by my parents until Year 10 when I was so stressed I started vomiting before my SC exams. Now, they try not to pressure me (though they do use "subtle" hints), but I can't stop acting like nerdish emo mole, because most of the pressure comes from within. That's the same in nearly every aspect of my life. There are things I cannot even tell my best-friends because I know that they won't understand. I certainly can't speak to a stranger about them (ironically, I'm kind of doing that now...). Sometimes, I feel like no-one will ever understand how I feel and it eats away at me. But the point to this rather long post is, that although I can't bring myself to talk about stuff, I really need to. And that will be the same situation alot of others are in also. The feeling that they can't talk to anyone regardless of how much support they have. Okay, this all made sense in my head...not so much when it's written...

Heyy, it made total sense! So much of that sounds a lot like me at times, you're not the only one I know how it feels when you feel like no one could possibly understand what you're feeling, but the truth is that you'd be surprised at the amount of people who actually do understand. I suck at the whole 'talking' thing too, but seriously if you ever really need someone to talk to ring the Kids help line. You're talking to a complete stranger so it doesn't matter what you say, and if you freak out you can always hang up the phone

Sometimes it can be a lot easier than talking to people you know in real life..

 

[Fitness]

Hey guys,
did you know that if you dont get the uai you can pay to do one or two of the subjects in that uni course - then when you finish those subjects, the uni mite let you continue todo the rest of that uni course.

Did you know that you can start a similar course if you dont into the one u want and then transfer?

Did you know you can do a similar tafe course and then transfer to tafe?

Hey - I want to do somethin with fitnes - I mite not get into sport science but I mite try another course and then transfer. If the worst - I'll go to tafe and tfr late.

I'll probably change my uac selections after I get my uai anyway. If the worst comes, I go to the country and meet new people in new places. It'll be like a gap yr only I'll studin too.

 

[Fitness]

Sorry I ment to say do "Tafe and then Transfer to UNI" not tfr to tafe again.

 

[Stix06]

u kno its wierd I have certaintly heard a lot about the HSC being super stressful and a lot of my friends have been stressed and what not but surprisingly I am not stressed the slightest. Of course I get a little nervouse befor the exam but it doesnt seem to affect me as it does others

 

[dagwoman]

Thought I'd scrounge up a few good resources too:

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/

http://depressionet.com.au/

The following website is great:
http://www.reachout.com.au/

And here's a factsheet on the same website about managing exam stess:
http://www.reachout.com.au/default.asp?ti=1342

 

[Steffijam]

I haven't read the whole thread, but there are also some numbers:
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Suicide helpline: 1300 651 251
Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800 (if you are under 18)

If you ever want to talk to someone online too, you can go to www.teenhopeline.com where they've got a 'live' chat (it's an American website, but still cool).

I haven't thought about suicide, but I'm on the other end. A friend of mine took her life a few weeks ago - she wasn't doing the HSC, but her death has left a lot of pain for us to get through . If you've thinking about suicide, please, please call someone!

 

[bottle01]

feeling very very very bad after physics...reading those questions that i knew the answer yet didn't have time to attempt it...

:mad1:

 

[*Ninny-mole*]

Sorry, this has nothing to do with the topice, but bottle01 (^) I think I recognise those lyrics in your sig. You aren't a westlife fan are you? I'm only asking because my sister is, and has played their songs so bloody much that I know them more than I know my favourite songs.
Back to the topic. Thanks for the numbers, but personally, I'm fine. They will be very helpful for others though.

 

[ElendilPeredhil]

Hey do those numbers (Lifeline etc) appear on your phone bill if you call them?

 

[Sprinkles~]

Hey do those numbers (Lifeline etc) appear on your phone bill if you call them?

Kids help line doesn't, as long as you don't use a mobile. I'm not sure about Lifeline though...

 

[bboyelement]

i dont know why but because all the ppl around us make a big deal about the hsc, we become mentally influenced by them. after all its not them sitting the hsc exam so they wont know crap. believe there are many chances in succeeding if you fail your hsc ... remember our former pm paul keating didnt completer year 12. but it doesnt mean you shouldnt try your hardest. but yeh dont worry ppl, if you become too stress out then you should get some rest and forget about your previous exams ... just concentrate on the ones you have left. after all its not going to change anything ... youve done it, now just leave it to the markers to do all the rest ... all you do it is look forward to the end of your last exam and think about how you would party hard, get drunk have sex hahha.

 

[fallen__angel]

sorry I haven't replied for so long...was studying for maths

With that out of the way, fallen__angel and HinikuTheNinja, I just wanna ask you... why? I mean, did you think that killing yourselves would solve your problems or make them go away, or was it the only option left, or what?

If your parents were putting too much pressure on you, why didn't you just talk to them- tell them that their pressure is just making things worse and worse.

I just don't understand it/ could you to explain it to me.

Why? ...um...not sure where to begin...it's been such a long time since I was like that. Depression isn't something that happens when you had bad experiences - it doesn't hit you head on like 'bang'- it creeps up on you. (sorry for the bad analogy there)
At first, I didn't really think about the suicide thing. But once you get those thoughts in your head, the death thing become apparent. I knew killing myself wouldn't do anything, but since my parents were so ignorant, I thought that it's about time they paid for their negligence. I know this is gonna sound really nasty, but...I wanted them to feel my pain, to have a little idea of what I was going through. I wanted them to suffer, basically.
I wanted to talk to my parents. I really did. But I knew they would overeact and treat me like some psychopath, which they sorta did after I told them I was cutting myself. The KidsHelpLine person told me that I was protecting them because I didn't want them to be all worried (But as the depression got worse, I totally hated them). My family lives apart - me with dad, and mum and sis overseas because of mum's career - talking to dad would never work because he is unable to comprehend the meaning of depression. Mum was the only one whom I thought might understand, but since we could only talk on the phone, I don't see how that would work out.
Basically, I had no-one in my family to turn to.
one counsellor I talked to at school had the superb idea of me writing a letter to my dad. Dad's english is elementary level, and I'm equally as bad in mandarin.

oh, and note to bboyelement:
I didn't think the HSC would make my life worse before. I believed too that the HSC was just another part of life. But when multitudes of shit from parents and parents of other students pile up, it's hard to remain focused. That may not sound like much, but hey, everyone has different tolerance levels.

 

[FortyWinks]

hey fallen angel, i can understand where your coming from and i used to think exactly like you (maybe not to the same extreme). My brother n sister both got scolarships into uni. When i was younger.. i used to top my class in maths and science n used to do heaps well in everything else. When i was 3, i was doing multiplication and division in my head. Now im doing my hsc. My class mark for MATHS (supposedly my best subject) was 51... my marks had just been getting worse n worse from year 11. My parents are the type that put HEAPS of emphasis on the HSC and school marks. They yelled, screamed, wrote me emails + letters... nethin to try to get me to do better... Their ignorance can be SO annoying that you just want them to understand what YOUR going through!

anyways i eventually got the courage to speak to my parents, ive obviously screwed up my uai but i told them that i was in control of my own life, i wont learn if they force me to. Right now things are great. My parents understand that i cant handle the pressure they put on me and im really happy nowdays

my point is that sometimes you think your parents wont understand.. and this may often be correct. But what have you go to lose by talking ot them?

 

[~Sw33ti3~]

i think a big outburst helps..... or with time and if you tok 2 them it helps...
mine gave me so much pressure, they wanted a 99.7+ uai to make them look like good parents... they sorta lost that dream afta i burst in anger and told them why.. and stuff.. yelled and screamed for the whole day, then they understood that i mite actually still b smart even though i dun get such a bloody high UAI....

parents are nice now... they see you struggle so hard.. they actually learn... i dunno, mine was like, don't worri if you screw up maths todai... you know you have back up plans if you don't get a uai over 95.... (not helpful but still, at least they are lowering their standards)

but there is pressure... i'm from an asian family and azn parents.... *faints* but i dunno... i try my best, they can see it, they get pissed, but they realise that no matter now pissed they get, i dun give a shit.. so they might as well just encourage me and help me achieve my personal best...

trust me, i never knew my parents are that sorta parents.. i always saw them as the pushy azn parents... now they are actually realli nice...... i am surprised...

srsly, tok and yell for some time, it works! =D tried... and succeeeded!!!!

but depression.. i suffered from depression.. but got over it... i made sure i was in control of my life and not being controlled... =D

neywayz, gud luck 4 da hsc peepppz!!!

 

[HinikuTheNinja]

Oh dear. I just got one of those 'you have no ambition, you fail at life' mini-lectures. Lovely. And I was feeling so happy today too... *goes off to sulk in a corner*

 

[P_Dilemma]

When i was younger.. i used to top my class in maths and science n used to do heaps well in everything else. When i was 3, i was doing multiplication and division in my head.

Now im doing my hsc. My class mark for MATHS (supposedly my best subject) was 51... my marks had just been getting worse n worse from year 11. My parents are the type that put HEAPS of emphasis on the HSC and school marks. They yelled, screamed, wrote me emails + letters... nethin to try to get me to do better... Their ignorance can be SO annoying that you just want them to understand what YOUR going through!

OMG that sounds so much like me! I used to be a total math nerd, and believe it it or not i still remember the exact speed of light (299792.458m/s)! I used to love numbers.

Then in Year 8 i scored 100% in my math test. I was over the world!

Now? I got kicked out of the 4u math class, and i'm struggling with 3u.

I think i just got bored in yr 8. I mean, once i got 100%, what more can i do? You cant do better than perfection... At least, that's what i think happened to me. I don't think i'll ever know...

-P_D

 

[FortyWinks]

OMG that sounds so much like me! I used to be a total math nerd, and believe it it or not i still remember the exact speed of light (299792.458m/s)! I used to love numbers.

Then in Year 8 i scored 100% in my math test. I was over the world!

Now? I got kicked out of the 4u math class, and i'm struggling with 3u.

I think i just got bored in yr 8. I mean, once i got 100%, what more can i do? You cant do better than perfection... At least, that's what i think happened to me. I don't think i'll ever know...

haha yep thats sorta how it happened for me!!! in yr 10.. was in advanced maths.. neva did homework.. did classwork about once a week.. got 100percent in almost every test and topped the class.. planning to do 4 unit in yr 12... then in yr 11.. doing 3 unit! sat n chatted the entire time... no study nuthing... coz im thinking ... i nailed year 10.. ill nail yr 12.. i came second last in the class and got kicked out for not doing any homework!!!!! then this year i was like 2 unit?? ahha easy.. came first in the first test without ne study.. thinking wow i dont need to study.. then i failed the next 3!!!! got like 49 percent in all of em!! the only test i studied for was the one today, and i nailed it !!! ireckon its coz were just so used to being so good that when it gets harder where not used to putting in the little extra effort, were as kids who have studied their entire lifes can up that notch easily!

P.S. nice memory man! haha! my friend, we call him Pi, can remember Pi to 1000 digits.. hes a freak! though i can still kill him in maths

take it easy man

good luck everyone with everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Boxxxhead]

haha yep thats sorta how it happened for me!!! in yr 10.. was in advanced maths.. neva did homework.. did classwork about once a week.. got 100percent in almost every test and topped the class.. planning to do 4 unit in yr 12... then in yr 11.. doing 3 unit! sat n chatted the entire time... no study nuthing... coz im thinking ... i nailed year 10.. ill nail yr 12.. i came second last in the class and got kicked out for not doing any homework!!!!! then this year i was like 2 unit?? ahha easy.. came first in the first test without ne study.. thinking wow i dont need to study.. then i failed the next 3!!!! got like 49 percent in all of em!! the only test i studied for was the one today, and i nailed it !!! ireckon its coz were just so used to being so good that when it gets harder where not used to putting in the little extra effort, were as kids who have studied their entire lifes can up that notch easily!

P.S. nice memory man! haha! my friend, we call him Pi, can remember Pi to 1000 digits.. hes a freak! though i can still kill him in maths

take it easy man

good luck everyone with everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That happened to me... topping year 10 doing absolutely nothing... but luckily I'm still going pretty well in maths.