not that this has any relevance:
> >
> >So, just how many people does it take to change a light bulb? We put the
> >question to the students of Sydney, and here's how they replied:
> >
> >
> >
> >Scot's - Two. One to mix the martinis and one to phone the electrician.
> >
> >PLC - One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
> >
> >Sydney Grammar - Two. One to change the bulb and one to crack under the
> >pressure.
> >
> >James Ruse Agricultural - Four. One to design a nuclear powered one that
> >never needs changing, two to install it and one to write the computer
> >program that controls the switch.
> >
> >
> >Forest High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get
> >high off the old one.
> >
> >
> >Loretto Kirribilli - One. She'll put through a call to maintenance staff
> >because there's no way she's going to do manual labour.
> >
> >
> >King's - Two. One to change the globe faster than anyone in the GPS and
>one
> >to show him around the school afterwards.
> >
> >
> >Knox Grammar - Two. One to install the new bulb completely powered by
> >testosterone and one to brag about it loudly.
> >
> >
> >Cranbrook - Six. One to change the bulb and five to support its sexual
> >orientation.
> >
> >
> >Ravenswood - Five. One to change the bulb, two to reassure her that she
> >doesn't look fat at the top of the ladder and two to circulate photos
> >showing that she does.
> >
> >
> >Abbotsleigh - Four. One to smash the glass ceiling so that they can get to
> >the top of the ladder, one to install the globe and two to check that it's
> >brighter than PLC's.
> >
> >
> >Shore - Sixteen. One to send out the invitations, two to get the beer, one
> >to change the bulb, one to buy Ralph Lauren polos for everyone, two to
> >smuggle the chicks in and one to keep watch for the boarding master. The
> >second eight just need to be ready to back them up.
> >
> >
> >Macdonald College - Five. One to change the globe and four to do an
> >interpretive dance about it.
> >
> >Newington. - None. They're all too drunk to notice.
> >
> >Killara High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to write to the North
> >Shore Times about how she did it as well as any private school student.
> >
> >Santa Sabina - None. They're all down at Strathfield station having a
> >ciggie.
> >
> >St Pat's, Strathfield - Ten. One to change it and one to buy the hair gel
> >to impress the Santa Sabina chicks, while the rest compete wiv da
>Christian
> >Bruvvers for da turf (Strathfield Station).
> >
> >Burwood Girls - None, They're all down at Burwood Westfield.
> >
> >Homebush Boys High - Fourteen. One to change it, one to throw the old one
> >at the St Pat's boys and 12 to kick the crap out of each other in the
> >meantime.
> >
> >Strathfield Girls - Three. One will chnage it. The other will orally
> >explain to the Homebush Boys about how to change it. The third will
> >statistically demonstrate how they beat Burwood Girls in the HSC again.
> >
> >Barrenjoey High - Eleven. One to change it and ten to share the
>experience.
> >
> >Joey's - Fifteen. It's not that one's not smart enough, it's just that
> >they're a team and they have to form a lineout and get the backs into
> >position.
> >
> >Barker College - Fifteen. One to change it and the rest to walk around as
> >if they own the place and talk it up.
> >
> >Sydney Uni - Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the
> >globe's right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest.
> >
> >Mater Maria - Twenty. One to change it and the rest to carry on about how
> >it was, like, soooo fully better than at their old school.
> >
> >Trinity - None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall
> >even if it means standing in the dark.
> >
> >SCEGGS Redlands - Three. One to change the bulb and two to nick down to
> >Bed, Bath and Table to buy a Jacquard shade for it in the new season's
> >colours.
> >
> >Queenwood - Depends, could be one, could be ten, no-one is prepared to
> >commit unless the Shore boys are definitely going to be there.
> >
> >Mercy College - Five, one to screw it in, two to laugh about the word
>screw
> >and two to message the St Pius boys about it.
> >
> >St Pius X - Three, one to get word around that the Mercy girls are talking
> >about a screw, one to replace the bulb and one to pray that they get it
> >done in time to beat the Chatswood High boys the Mercy party.
> >
> >Brigidine - None. It's too hard to find a new globe with their sunglasses
> >on.
> >
> >Girraween High - Two. One student and one teacher but not before they make
> >out.
> >
> >Marist Eastwood - Five. One to change it and four to shop for the perfect
> >J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
> >
> >Riverview - Five. One to change it, and four to go to Gowings for new
> >flannelette shirts to wear for the occasion.
> >
> >Cabramatta High - Ten. One to change the bulb, two to negotiate a pay off
> >to rival gangs to prevent anything going down during the change and the
> >rest to stake out just in case.
> >
> >Kogarah High - Five. One to install it. One to tally the number of times
>he
> >says F*** while he's doing it, one to brag about the size of their
>falafels
> >and a couple of eager chicks with gelled hair and monobrows who overheard
> >and came for 'lunch'.
> >
> >St. George - One. One will be enough to cover the combined intellectual
> >abilities of Kograh High, Kograh Marist and Moorefield High.
> >
> >East Hills Girls - Nobody bothered to ask because nobody cares about East
> >Hills.
> >
> >The International School - None. They brought notes from their guardians
> >excusing them.
> >
> >Ascham - One, because she's a unique, self motivated, individual.
> >
> >
> >
> >Kincoppal - Three. One to change it and two to make sure her hair ribbons
> >are still in place afterwards.
> >
> >Glenaeon - The entire school. One to remove the perfectly good globe, two
> >to work out how to dispose of it so that it's dolphin safe, one to replace
> >it with candles and the rest to sit on mats and express how they feel
>about
> >the change.
> >
> >Frensham - The girl who answered the phone said she was pleased to be
> >included with the Sydney schools but probably would never know the answer
> >because her Daddy had said to phone immediately if the maintenance man
>made
> >any disgusting suggestions.
> >
> >Sydney Girl's High - One and she was determined to get better results than
> >the Sydney Boys.
> >
> >Sydney Boy's High - None. They didn't have to, the Sydney Girls insisted
>on
> >showing them how it was done.
> >
> >North Sydney Girl's - One and she will make sure it was the best
> >installation ever.
> >
> >North Sydney Boy's - None. They were off playing basketball.
> >
> >Narrabeen Sports High - Unsure. Their response was something like 'Duuh,
> >what's a light globe?'
> >
> >Pennant Hills High - About fifteen. One to change the bulb, but a small
> >search party to try and find a socket that hasn't been burnt to a crisp.
> >
> >Tara - Five. One to replace the globe, three to figure out that she
>screwed
> >it in upside down and one to phone her brother at Kings and get him to
>send
> >over his mates to show them how to screw the right way up.
> >
> >The Conservatorium - Forty Three. One to change the globe and a 42 piece
> >orchestra to accompany him.
> >
> >Kambala.- Two. One to change the bulb and one to phone daddy to pay for
>it.
> >
> >Condell Park - None. They didn't want to spoil its 'quickie in the dark'
> >atmosphere.
> >
> >St Aloyisius - Three. One to put in a formal complaint about the
> >imposition, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it
> >isn't half as bright as the light shining from their arses.
> >
> >Leichhardt High - Four. One to order a Venetian chandelier from her cousin
> >Roberto who owns a lighting warehouse and imports from the old country,
>one
> >to arrange delivery cause his sister's husband Tony has an uncle whose
> >mate, Angelo, has a truck, one to put the squeeze on his neighbour Dominic
> >the electrician because he owes him a favour and one to make sure
> >everything is done cash.
> >
> >Macarthur Girls High - None, no girl would want to ruin her 5 cm thick
> >makeup, she didn't spend hours applying in class for it to be ruined, it's
> >for the Marist Bro