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Learning tutor for 9 year old boy or 12 year old girl? (1 Viewer)

Beyblader

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I'm looking for a tutor for 2 hours per week for an intelligent 9 year old boy and/or a 12 year old girl
- I'm not really too fussed about the content, I'm looking for a tutor that can relate to 9-12 year olds, instill a love of learning and teach effective study techniques (for maths/english)

are there any available that would fit this niche?
 

icycledough

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I'm looking for a tutor for 2 hours per week for an intelligent 9 year old boy and/or a 12 year old girl
- I'm not really too fussed about the content, I'm looking for a tutor that can relate to 9-12 year olds, instill a love of learning and teach effective study techniques (for maths/english)

are there any available that would fit this niche?
Would group tutoring be helpful for them or would they prefer a private tutor only?
 

CM_Tutor

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Would you clarify what you have in mind, in relation to "and/or"? Are you thinking one 2 h session per week? 1 h per week for each of them (or together, when appropriate)? Alternating between the children, on some timetable?
 

Beyblader

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Would you clarify what you have in mind, in relation to "and/or"? Are you thinking one 2 h session per week? 1 h per week for each of them (or together, when appropriate)? Alternating between the children, on some timetable?
i didnt really have a fixed idea as not sure about tutor availability. But I think a 2hour session on a weekend for the 9 year old alone as a start would be good to see if it works
 

Eagle Mum

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i didnt really have a fixed idea as not sure about tutor availability. But I think a 2hour session on a weekend for the 9 year old alone as a start would be good to see if it works
Just curious - you mentioned a 12 y.o. girl in your original post - wouldn’t it be more appropriate to organise tutoring for the older child?

My eldest received the most help from me throughout her school years (mostly checking her answers when she disagreed with erroneous textbooks and with assignments that required practical investigations). She then helped her younger siblings (taking great pride in the fact that they are surpassing her achievements) and in turn my middle child helps my youngest. It’s an efficient way of passing on knowledge.
 

CM_Tutor

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One approach that I would suggest is to look for activities / experiments / investigations that both can do but encourage the older child to delve more deeply into the topic, and based on what they find interesting, encourage them to explore into extensions. Giving them ownership over parts of the work should encourage buy-in and engagement. In those sorts of areas, the methods and ideas of science are far more useful for later study than particular facts, though they are important to give a context to an investigation / exploration.
 

Beyblader

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Just curious - you mentioned a 12 y.o. girl in your original post - wouldn’t it be more appropriate to organise tutoring for the older child?

My eldest received the most help from me throughout her school years (mostly checking her answers when she disagreed with erroneous textbooks and with assignments that required practical investigations). She then helped her younger siblings (taking great pride in the fact that they are surpassing her achievements) and in turn my middle child helps my youngest. It’s an efficient way of passing on knowledge.
the older one does one tutoring session per week at a coaching centre class and likes it but i'm not really keen on standard tutoring in general (because I think encourages an inefficient method of rote/brute force learning, at least in the coaching centres I've seen anyway) and would prefer that they become better self guided learners so want a 'learning' tutor to help guid ehtem towards that goal

the younger one also does a similar session which he hates and complains about all the time and i want to stop it as i don;t think its really helping him that much and wasting time but the reason he was put into tutoring is because he is highly intelligent (top of his year at school) but extraordinarily lazy academically and shows zero interest/motivation in academic stuff (thats why he was forced to do the tutoring in the first place)- so i want to teach him a love of learning in general to help him realise his potential in later life
 

Eagle Mum

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the older one does one tutoring session per week at a coaching centre class and likes it but i'm not really keen on standard tutoring in general (because I think encourages an inefficient method of rote/brute force learning, at least in the coaching centres I've seen anyway) and would prefer that they become better self guided learners so want a 'learning' tutor to help guid ehtem towards that goal

the younger one also does a similar session which he hates and complains about all the time and i want to stop it as i don;t think its really helping him that much and wasting time but the reason he was put into tutoring is because he is highly intelligent (top of his year at school) but extraordinarily lazy academically and shows zero interest/motivation in academic stuff (thats why he was forced to do the tutoring in the first place)- so i want to teach him a love of learning in general to help him realise his potential in later life
Thanks for taking the time to reply. With a bit more insight now, I’d second CM_Tutor’s comments - ‘ownership’ is a vital element; it’s much, much more effective to find out what they are interested in and support them. Videos like ‘Backyard Science’ and ‘Mythbusters’ might encourage him to try some experiments. Likewise, watching ‘Numberphile’ Youtube videos might encourage him to delve further into maths. The right kind of tutor could work out well - I hope you find one. Your kids sound a lot like my older two - my eldest daughter was reasonably compliant, but my son would resent any attempts by anyone to lead him, so my strategy has just been to provide plenty of resources.

At age 9, you still have plenty of time before having to worry about formal academic materials, so anything that develops the mind is worthwhile. My son did a lot of speedcubing, played chess online and he & my husband actually played a lot of Minecraft together, during which, my husband showed him a lot of optimisation strategies. My son also did a lot of athletics and he approached every event scientifically, developing completely different running gaits for sprint, middle and long distance (power vs efficiency) and his success at field events were due as much to techniques that he worked out himself than natural physical ability (he’s just turned in his first physics assignment on projectile motions and with calculus now under his belt, he absolutely nailed the assignment, so no experience is ever wasted).
 
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idkkdi

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the older one does one tutoring session per week at a coaching centre class and likes it but i'm not really keen on standard tutoring in general (because I think encourages an inefficient method of rote/brute force learning, at least in the coaching centres I've seen anyway) and would prefer that they become better self guided learners so want a 'learning' tutor to help guid ehtem towards that goal

the younger one also does a similar session which he hates and complains about all the time and i want to stop it as i don;t think its really helping him that much and wasting time but the reason he was put into tutoring is because he is highly intelligent (top of his year at school) but extraordinarily lazy academically and shows zero interest/motivation in academic stuff (thats why he was forced to do the tutoring in the first place)- so i want to teach him a love of learning in general to help him realise his potential in later life
Thanks for taking the time to reply. With a bit more insight now, I’d second CM_Tutor’s comments - ‘ownership’ is a vital element; it’s much, much more effective to find out what they are interested in and support them. Videos like ‘Backyard Science’ and ‘Mythbusters’ might encourage him to try some experiments. Likewise, watching ‘Numberphile’ Youtube videos might encourage him to delve further into maths. The right kind of tutor could work out well - I hope you find one. Your kids sound a lot like my older two - my eldest daughter was reasonably compliant, but my son would resent any attempts by anyone to lead him, so my strategy has just been to provide plenty of resources.

At age 9, you still have plenty of time before having to worry about formal academic materials, so anything that develops the mind is worthwhile. My son did a lot of speedcubing, played chess online and he & my husband actually played a lot of Minecraft together, during which, my husband showed him a lot of optimisation strategies. My son also did a lot of athletics and he approached every event scientifically, developing completely different running gaits for sprint, middle and long distance (power vs efficiency) and his success at field events were due as much to techniques that he worked out himself than natural physical ability (he’s just turned in his first physics assignment on projectile motions and with calculus now under his belt, he absolutely nailed the assignment, so no experience is ever wasted).
Interestingly enough, I think playing games is actually somewhat beneficial to the new thinking skills selective test portion.
 

CM_Tutor

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the older one does one tutoring session per week at a coaching centre class and likes it but i'm not really keen on standard tutoring in general (because I think encourages an inefficient method of rote/brute force learning, at least in the coaching centres I've seen anyway) and would prefer that they become better self guided learners so want a 'learning' tutor to help guid ehtem towards that goal

the younger one also does a similar session which he hates and complains about all the time and i want to stop it as i don;t think its really helping him that much and wasting time but the reason he was put into tutoring is because he is highly intelligent (top of his year at school) but extraordinarily lazy academically and shows zero interest/motivation in academic stuff (thats why he was forced to do the tutoring in the first place)- so i want to teach him a love of learning in general to help him realise his potential in later life
Working as a tutor is not easy. I find myself trying to balance the student's expectations, their parents' expectations, my experience and perceptions of areas of difficulty in general and for the individual, their style (including spoken and unspoken feedback), the need to build trust with the student while keeping parents informed, etc. I really dislike rote learning approaches but I do have to recognise that they are not always unhelpful. However, if your child is getting drill-and-practice instruction with repetitive homework, then I can totally understand why you would have concerns and be looking for alternatives.

For your younger child, if he hates tutoring and you see it as a waste of time, then I can't see any benefit to persisting. I have major doubts that "loving learning" is something that can be taught. He needs to value learning for reasons that are important to him, and he is much more likely to engage with topics that interest him. You say that he is highly intelligent and is performing strongly at school, perhaps his laziness arises from not being challenged and/or putting in extra effort does not yield any meaningful reward. In any case, it sounds like the present tutoring is feeding resistance and potentially resentment on his part, and so it is counter-productive.

Thanks for taking the time to reply. With a bit more insight now, I’d second CM_Tutor’s comments - ‘ownership’ is a vital element; it’s much, much more effective to find out what they are interested in and support them. Videos like ‘Backyard Science’ and ‘Mythbusters’ might encourage him to try some experiments. Likewise, watching ‘Numberphile’ Youtube videos might encourage him to delve further into maths. The right kind of tutor could work out well - I hope you find one. Your kids sound a lot like my older two - my eldest daughter was reasonably compliant, but my son would resent any attempts by anyone to lead him, so my strategy has just been to provide plenty of resources.

At age 9, you still have plenty of time before having to worry about formal academic materials, so anything that develops the mind is worthwhile. My son did a lot of speedcubing, played chess online and he & my husband actually played a lot of Minecraft together, during which, my husband showed him a lot of optimisation strategies. My son also did a lot of athletics and he approached every event scientifically, developing completely different running gaits for sprint, middle and long distance (power vs efficiency) and his success at field events were due as much to techniques that he worked out himself than natural physical ability (he’s just turned in his first physics assignment on projectile motions and with calculus now under his belt, he absolutely nailed the assignment, so no experience is ever wasted).
I agree with Eagle Mum that you need a way forward for your son that is grounded in his interests, that he will choose to spend time on and accept support (parental, tutoring, online, etc) that furthers those interests. More importantly, he needs to recognise what you are doing as part of being on his side in helping him on his journey to who he wants to be. You want what you see as best for him, of course, but you can't be responsible for him forever - growth and development means him accepting more and more responsibility for himself over time, So, perhaps approach him in away he can feel he is involved in decision making as part of the transition from you being responsible for him to being responsible to him at times. Discuss why you wanted him to have tutoring and what (if anything) it is achieving and what he would like to change. Only you can judge how ready he is for such steps, but empowering him to contribute towards his education may evoke a more mature engagement. While he feels forced and obligated as a child to go to tutoring, he is also tacitly being given permission to resist and behave as a child, whereas offering him the opportunity to engage in a more adult-like way might lead him to feel more responsibility and to act in a more adult-like way. In some cases, being yelled at by a parent is easier to take as a child is much easier than being calmly told by a parent about feeling disappointed and distressed about something you did... being yelled at, you feel in trouble but you have the responsibilities of a child, whereas being treated like an adult can force self-reflection and introspection that goes with having to own poor choices that one has made.
 

Beyblader

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You provide some great insights which made me think so thanks for that

I agree with them. The issue is that going with his interests only goes so far and is limited in extent eg he does like watching YouTube science experiments and will do them spontaneously himself but that might only happen a few times per month and he wouldn’t sustain it with any consistency. He likes Minecraft too much so I’ve had to limit it as I think it’s too addictive and sucks up too much time - he would spend hours per day playing it if he could, apart from that he loves sports and is on a football team that trains or plays 4-5x per week already and plays basketball once a week

I’m tempted to ditch the tutoring completely and just let him do whatever he wants since he’s doing well at school but I also feel that he will just waste that time and never learn a decent work ethic whereas tutoring, albeit enforced, does at least provide some consistent training in working. that’s why I like the idea of a learning coach



Working as a tutor is not easy. I find myself trying to balance the student's expectations, their parents' expectations, my experience and perceptions of areas of difficulty in general and for the individual, their style (including spoken and unspoken feedback), the need to build trust with the student while keeping parents informed, etc. I really dislike rote learning approaches but I do have to recognise that they are not always unhelpful. However, if your child is getting drill-and-practice instruction with repetitive homework, then I can totally understand why you would have concerns and be looking for alternatives.

For your younger child, if he hates tutoring and you see it as a waste of time, then I can't see any benefit to persisting. I have major doubts that "loving learning" is something that can be taught. He needs to value learning for reasons that are important to him, and he is much more likely to engage with topics that interest him. You say that he is highly intelligent and is performing strongly at school, perhaps his laziness arises from not being challenged and/or putting in extra effort does not yield any meaningful reward. In any case, it sounds like the present tutoring is feeding resistance and potentially resentment on his part, and so it is counter-productive.



I agree with Eagle Mum that you need a way forward for your son that is grounded in his interests, that he will choose to spend time on and accept support (parental, tutoring, online, etc) that furthers those interests. More importantly, he needs to recognise what you are doing as part of being on his side in helping him on his journey to who he wants to be. You want what you see as best for him, of course, but you can't be responsible for him forever - growth and development means him accepting more and more responsibility for himself over time, So, perhaps approach him in away he can feel he is involved in decision making as part of the transition from you being responsible for him to being responsible to him at times. Discuss why you wanted him to have tutoring and what (if anything) it is achieving and what he would like to change. Only you can judge how ready he is for such steps, but empowering him to contribute towards his education may evoke a more mature engagement. While he feels forced and obligated as a child to go to tutoring, he is also tacitly being given permission to resist and behave as a child, whereas offering him the opportunity to engage in a more adult-like way might lead him to feel more responsibility and to act in a more adult-like way. In some cases, being yelled at by a parent is easier to take as a child is much easier than being calmly told by a parent about feeling disappointed and distressed about something you did... being yelled at, you feel in trouble but you have the responsibilities of a child, whereas being treated like an adult can force self-reflection and introspection that goes with having to own poor choices that one has made.
 

idkkdi

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You provide some great insights which made me think so thanks for that

I agree with them. The issue is that going with his interests only goes so far and is limited in extent eg he does like watching YouTube science experiments and will do them spontaneously himself but that might only happen a few times per month and he wouldn’t sustain it with any consistency. He likes Minecraft too much so I’ve had to limit it as I think it’s too addictive and sucks up too much time - he would spend hours per day playing it if he could, apart from that he loves sports and is on a football team that trains or plays 4-5x per week already and plays basketball once a week

I’m tempted to ditch the tutoring completely and just let him do whatever he wants since he’s doing well at school but I also feel that he will just waste that time and never learn a decent work ethic whereas tutoring, albeit enforced, does at least provide some consistent training in working. that’s why I like the idea of a learning coach
I spent obscene amounts of hours playing Minecraft in those yrs. very useless back in the old selective format.
As said before, though, I think it has much more benefit to the new test style. Before, maybe the only thing of use was common sense, which you gain a bit of, and could be applied somewhat to maths. Now, the spatial ability and common sense actually has uses in the thinking skills section.

sports, keep making them play. it's rather enjoyable assuming you get playing time. much of the gaming need comes from boredom at that age.

tutoring ditch is a hard issue, it depends on whether u would make them still study. If you're wanting to do well, e.g. ruse type scores/scholarships, it is basically impossible to do without studying. As far as I am aware, without consistent effort, e.g. reading books, english comprehension and writing was literally impossible to do well on, while on the other hand maths could come relatively naturally, especially since a lot are intuition stylish iirc. I am confident that had I not done any tutoring "mock testing", I would have never engaged in any form of work. This is coming from an "extraordinarily lazy" kid who would literally copy answers for tutoring homework. The only thing that kept me somewhat striving for higher scores was the group environment providing some form of competition. if ur able to send ur kid to somewhere where he comes last the first couple times, I basically guarantee he would try harder.

"doing well at school" is a horrible metric if ur kid goes to a normal 200-300 ranked school. I don't remember learning anything ever in class.
Naplan and ICAS is perhaps a much better metric. ICAS u would need to be looking at distinctions and above, and Naplan would be top arrow and maybe some top bands.

As said before, I think the main problem at that age with learning is the boredom from school. Anything that is remotely challenging is more interesting than regular school, and playing Minecraft in multiplayer and losing is a much more engaging challenge.

Right now at age 9 I believe you could start looking into APSMO books if they're maths inclined. English inclined people normally naturally just read a lot of books, so I'm assuming they clearly aren't interested in reading. This problem is very tough and I struggled with comprehension at that time, but if they find interesting books, it's very natural to fully read them.
Though, do be aware, inviting kids who have been accustomed to solving everything easily, could make them at first disinterested in solving hard problems.

As for the learning approach, this is quite a tough topic. imo, if your kid is intelligent and never engages with olympiads/competitions and things of that sort, they will just become bored once again when it comes to highschool and maybe slip into old habits. Before y11,12, even in the very top selectives, work ethic is quite horrific. The only thing that drives that work ethic is the competition and a need for it that comes about, specifically in y12.

TLDR: went very ranty. Try your luck with APSMO books.
 

Eagle Mum

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I second idkkdi’s suggestion of the APSMO problem solving book. My son was 9 when the OC teacher at his school put him in the Yr 5 OC class APSMO team and he was their top scorer. He went on to achieve perfect scores in the next two APSMO comps. It laid a good foundation for AIMO & AMO in high school.

I would also recommend ICAS (which covers different areas of learning) and the AMC primary comps. For my kids, I didn’t push them to prepare for any of these comps - I explained that they may be top of their grade in school, but that in other schools, students might be working harder (I used the ‘big fish in little pond’ analogy), so these comps were a good measure of how they stacked up against top students in other schools. They connected the dots themselves. Your situation sounds similar, so this strategy might be worthwhile.
 
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5uckerberg

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One approach that I would suggest is to look for activities / experiments / investigations that both can do but encourage the older child to delve more deeply into the topic, and based on what they find interesting, encourage them to explore into extensions. Giving them ownership over parts of the work should encourage buy-in and engagement. In those sorts of areas, the methods and ideas of science are far more useful for later study than particular facts, though they are important to give a context to an investigation / exploration.
In a way, this is what teachers should be doing for gifted students but sadly they never heed these suggestions and also sometimes it is hard to do so due to the lack of resources.
 

5uckerberg

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I got some other suggestions. Since your child is 9 years old it is a good time to get him involved in learning and playing chess because from my personal experience playing chess develops pattern recognition and strategy and also owning up to your consequences during a game after several moves. Another thing why I would suggest chess at this age is the need to learn about problem-solving and being able to work out ways to perform tactics which is quite helpful in maths due to recognition of patterns.
 

Eagle Mum

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I agree with them. The issue is that going with his interests only goes so far and is limited in extent eg he does like watching YouTube science experiments and will do them spontaneously himself but that might only happen a few times per month and he wouldn’t sustain it with any consistency. He likes Minecraft too much so I’ve had to limit it as I think it’s too addictive and sucks up too much time - he would spend hours per day playing it if he could, apart from that he loves sports and is on a football team that trains or plays 4-5x per week already and plays basketball once a week

I’m tempted to ditch the tutoring completely and just let him do whatever he wants since he’s doing well at school but I also feel that he will just waste that time and never learn a decent work ethic whereas tutoring, albeit enforced, does at least provide some consistent training in working. that’s why I like the idea of a learning coach
I’m a huge fan of team sports for building team spirit and encouraging collaboration, however, athletics & activities like speedcubing gave my son a very strong drive to continually improve PBs. His focus has never been on winning but always improving his times in track events and his distances in field, developing his ability to judge his performance vs potential. I suspect that a sense of not achieving one’s potential is self motivating.
 

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