All your opinions are valid in some sense, except for the pathetic storyline one, for u sir, you have no appreciation for movies at all.
To be honest, Hide and Seek wasn't the celebrity overload that you will find in some movies like constantine (crap movie...serious...just too much weirdness)
Anyway, I think Hide and Seek surrounds more about the idea of how psychology does have some importance. And the twist in my opinion is quite dramatic with me going "ooohh i should've noticed" which is always nice to know in a movie.
Acting was good especially with Robert DeNiero (however the heck you spell that), and although not academy award worthy...the acting of the little girl is quite astounding and hunting.
For a person who enjoys playing and knowing about the personality and thinking behind people's action, i reckon hide and seek did very well in that sense.
Movie is what i would say very successful.