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Parents Reaction to UAI marks (1 Viewer)

syd17

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PwarYuex said:
Judging by his excellent marks and enjoyment of uni thus far, I don't think he's going to have a rude awakening.



Whilst I agree that negative pressure shouldn't be put on children, being too lenient, as Stas says, does have a really bad effect.

i disagree, being too lenient could have a better effect as i had mates whose parents let them do whatever they wanted in yr 12 etc and still wound up with 98 plus UAI's which they were stoked with. just depends on family relations i guess. but my main point is that it is ok to fail and that ur not a dumbass for it- maybe u just picked the wrong subbie etc
 

Not-That-Bright

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There are some people (very few) who work well on their own and can put out great work without outside pressure, however even these people will not be disadvantaged by outside pressure.

I do not understand the argument that parents pressuring their kids to work will somehow produce lower results, what? do you think the kids will purposely rebel?
 

nwatts

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Not-That-Bright said:
I do not understand the argument that parents pressuring their kids to work will somehow produce lower results, what? do you think the kids will purposely rebel?
Sometimes, yes.

Also, there are a lot of people who do not work well under stress. I'm the type of person who can't work unless I'm stressed, but there are many (a few friends of mine, too) who just fall apart when people start pushing them to achieve higher. For these types, constant pressure from parents would produce lower results.

It's all about parents knowing the limits and character of their children. Some kids need pushing, others don't.
 

what971

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PwarYuex said:
Judging by his excellent marks and enjoyment of uni thus far, I don't think he's going to have a rude awakening.
Credits in Uni are 'excellent'?
 
X

xeuyrawp

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syd17 said:
whose parents let them do whatever they wanted in yr 12 etc and still wound up with 98
I highly doubt that. Unless you somehow hung out with very mature people who could work well on their own, that's clearly not true.

I consider myself very able of independent learning, yet my mum pushed me many times during the HSC. At the time, she seemed like she was being a bitch, but with 20/20 hindsight, she definitely helped.

Not-That-Bright said:
There are some people (very few) who work well on their own and can put out great work without outside pressure, however even these people will not be disadvantaged by outside pressure.
That's exactly right.

I do not understand the argument that parents pressuring their kids to work will somehow produce lower results, what? do you think the kids will purposely rebel?
Maybe syd17 interprets 'pressure children' in the very bad way that asian parents are notorious for doing. I think the balance between parents 'pushing' their children to suceed and parents forcing children to live through hell.
 

what971

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Not-That-Bright said:
I believe stas is on a distinction average... something that dumbarses do not achieve in university.
hey. that is excellent. Congrats.
 

stazi

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thanks, next year i plan to move towards an hd average - now that ive got all my shitty subs out of the way.
 

syd17

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PwarYuex said:
I highly doubt that. Unless you somehow hung out with very mature people who could work well on their own, that's clearly not true.

I consider myself very able of independent learning, yet my mum pushed me many times during the HSC. At the time, she seemed like she was being a bitch, but with 20/20 hindsight, she definitely helped.



That's exactly right.



Maybe syd17 interprets 'pressure children' in the very bad way that asian parents are notorious for doing. I think the balance between parents 'pushing' their children to suceed and parents forcing children to live through hell.
tis true, and btw, my parents never pushed me to excel so long as i gave my best coz they trusted my abilities, and i still got 90+ for my UAI, and even if i got 60+, they wouldve been stoked :)
 

Generator

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Lundy said:
To whoever said 'parents should push their child', I disagree. It adds a ton of extra stress that a child doing their HSC simply doesn't need.

If you needed to be pushed by your parents to work hard, then maybe you really weren't mature enough to be undertaking the HSC this year. I come from a very laid back family, my parents are very supportive but they have never tried to push me. The 'always try your best, and we'll be proud of you regardless' mentality might be cliche, but it's what I've grown up with, and I was an above average student all through my schooling, regularly topping classes and winning various academic awards. The thing is, I was perceptive enough to understand I couldn't by any means skate through the HSC if I wanted a high UAI and entrance to university. So I worked hard. For myself, not my parents. I needed an 86, I got a 93.65. If my parents had pushed harder would I have gotten a higher UAI? sure, maybe. But I was extremely proud of my effort, because it was entirely my own.

Your parents won't be there your whole life to be standing behind you, pushing you to get things done. You need to learn to stand on your own two feet and show some initiative. If you want something badly enough, you can achieve it on your own merits.

And lastly, there's much more to life than just grades. I hope all your parents understand this.
A very good post.
 

Not-That-Bright

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I don't see how lundy qualifies her first statement with what she goes on to say, unless the final paragraph there is meant to say that parents should not push their kids, and if their kids do fail, it's a lesson they have to learn?
 

Generator

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Not-That-Bright said:
I don't see how lundy qualifies her first statement with what she goes on to say, unless the final paragraph there is meant to say that parents should not push their kids, and if their kids do fail, it's a lesson they have to learn?
Ah, sorry? I thought that Lundy was more than clear in saying that the drive should come from within and that the pushing of a child may not be as helpful as many parents believe.
 
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Not-That-Bright

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Yea, I get the whole drive should come from within thing, but how many students actually have that inner drive, and if they do have it, how is a little pressure going to hurt them?

When I was doing the hsc, no one in my entire family had ever done it, and they didn't apply enough pressure. I mean for a student that's personally motivated, it also helps for the family to be pushing them just as much as they're pushing themselves, not telling them not to worry about it.

I'm also confused about the solution in the advent that a student isn't that personally motivated... do you simply not push them to get a better result, and watch them crash and burn so they learn a lesson?
 

Generator

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Hmmm. I think that Lundy's post is best read with one of iamaware's in mind. Pushing a child to a considerable degree may not be helpful, but a parent should have done all that they can to instill within their child the proper mindset with which to tackle life (both school and beyond).

That said, I doubt that anyone would say that there's anything wrong with a slight push (or a reminder) from your parents - it's more the constant pressure that is the issue here.

For the record, my situation was much like Lundy's. However, I'm still to learn the lessons that years of regret have sent sent my way :(. Oh well, it's my life.
 

Chief2666

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Am I the only person who doesnt get on with my parents?? My parents dont even have the slightest interst in my existance, they dont know anything about me, HA HA!! its quite funny actually it goes like this:

1. They dont even know what subjects I took at school.
2. They dont know what UAI I got, and most likely dont know what what a UAI is, And I dont plan on telling them(68.55)

it gets funnier here

3. They expect me to become a farmer or some shit like that, HA!!
4. They dont know that I want to go to uni and that I have already been accepted, HA HA HA!!
5. I couldnt care less what they would think of my marks, cause in a month or two Im pickin up my stuff and leaving for university, most likely never coming back and im not even gonna tell them. LMAO!! IM JUST GONNA DISAPPEAR ONE DAY!! LMAO!!

so, long story short, who cares what your parents think, unless you actually "get on" with them and they actually know you exist. Then it is all good.

and oh yah, reprise, congrats on your daughters results, im glad to see parents so involved with there childrens accomplishments, meep, I dont think your a bad parent at all.

I have a strange feeling im gonna get flamed right about now...
 

PaleReflection

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I agree that pressure can be good.

All through the HSC my parents never took any interest in my subjects, assignments, etc. They had no idea when things were due or what I was doing, and never put any pressure on me. They actually encouraged me sometimes to not study as much, and had no expectations for my results.

I think if they'd put more pressure on me I would have done better.
 

erawamai

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Generator said:
Hmmm. I think that Lundy's post is best read with one of iamaware's in mind. Pushing a child to a considerable degree may not be helpful, but a parent should have done all that they can to instill within their child the proper mindset with which to tackle life (both school and beyond).
Probably a good method, for all the budding parents out there, is to instill values within the child so that they push themselves. There are kids that are pushed by their parents and then there are students that push themselves. The kids out there that push themselves are, IMO, in a better position.

These values include winning, the value of hardwork, the value of money and the value of being an individual (not in the I'm punk rawk and wear werid clothes) but by making sure the kid is free from peer pressure to conform to the common cultural norm out there that not trying is cool, that trying hard is for loosers and that nerds are bad. In my opinion one of the greatest killers of ability and hardwork is peer pressure. The pressure to fit in and be as dumb as everyone else. And really it takes alot of heart for a teenager to, in such a superficial world, to not fall in with the pack and not simply follow, like a sheep, everything that other people do. The child should be encouraged to make his or her own decisions.

The best people out there are the ones that forge their own part in the world and we exercise some independent judgement in whatever they do.
 
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elisabeth

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Yeah PaleReflection, that was my situation too and I agree. But then again, may as well learn to drive myself since they're not going to be holding my hand through uni.
 

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