My own critique... feel free to disagree
Spelling and Grammar check. I find it really distracting to see poor editing.
I liked the idea of including a line of stuttering in the poem, although this could have been done in direct speech maybe, to give it a sense of immediacy?
I think that some of the ideas are good, if not a bit overdone, such as the angel speaking with "one last breath" which evokes questions in me about whether the Angel is dying etc which goes against notions that I have always had about the angel thing
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Maybe use some different words other than slowly, one last and pale. This may help it to achieve more depth.
At the same time, everyones poetry is somewhat dear to them no matter what other people say. Personally, it isn't my cup of tea... but I've never been a twilight reader nor a huge romantic.
It is nice to see such a broad array of opinions in this forum