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What was your parents & family reaction to your UAI? (1 Viewer)

whatever14

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yankyfly said:
Tell your parents, they should do a better job on their next child. If you don't have a younger sibling, look your parents in the eye and say "your failing is far worse than mine"
Thats really nasty because have seen first hand how hard parents work. I got 97 in the HSC and my parents were over the moon because i was the 'dumb one' in the family and they had no expectations from me.

My sister was a really really brillian girl since primary school and came first in school in school certificate(she went to selective school- north sydney). She had always been brilliant. However in year 11 she began to slack off heaps going out with boyfriends etc and my parents became very worried and hired sooo many tutors for her( must have spend 1000s of dollars) as to encourage her to do well. she attended all tutorials and everything yet she never studied. My parents kept warning her, we're doing so much for you the least you can do is take advantage of it (we're not rich at all). My parents worked sooooo hard for her and she didnt show any respect or appreciation.

Anyway long story short this brilliant girl only got 96, and while that might be good for some it certainly was not for her. She had gotten lower marks than me not because she was dumber (which she definately wasnt) but she had hardly studied at all while my parents kept insisting she take her studies seriously as they were spending so much on her and they expected at least a higher UAI from her than me because she was the ones with the brains. I had received no tuition and she had because she had the potential to score over 99. My parents had every right to be upset because they had spend so much and had so much expectation from her and she had just wasted all their efforts.

In short do NOT EVER show disrepect to your parents because everything they are doing is for YOU. Not for them. If my sister had studied and put in heaps of effort and THEN gotten the marks she did my parents would have been fine, because she did try. If she had SHOWN she was upset with her marks, they would have been more sympathetic, but she did just kept on going her way and didnt listen to any one else, and hardly tried ever and thats why parents get upset.
 

360flip

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63.35 uai

my dad repeated year 12 in his day so he didnt care
my ma got a shit year 12 mark in 1985 probaly less than 50uai if there was a uai system then

overall theyre stoked i passed hsc and got second in maths for my year 12 year considering i sucked ass so bad at math since i started school, gotta give props to my tutor

however my sister laughed at me but i dont give a fuck

looking forward to arts i always wanted to do :)
 

fruitarian

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Dad was right there with me when the number came up...

99.85

We both looked at eachother and started laughing...neither of us had expected anything that high.

I rang mum and she said "Truley???" "You serious???" and squealed haha

My sister gave me a huge hug and in secret made a desktop picture on paint for the computer that said 99.85 everywhere and said "Well done stephanie. You deserve it!"

My fam are so cute.

:)
 
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whatever14 said:
Anyway long story short this brilliant girl only got 96, and while that might be good for some it certainly was not for her. She had gotten lower marks than me not because she was dumber (which she definately wasnt) but she had hardly studied at all while my parents kept insisting she take her studies seriously as they were spending so much on her and they expected at least a higher UAI from her than me because she was the ones with the brains. I had received no tuition and she had because she had the potential to score over 99.
to be honest, big fucking deal. some people make the hsc out to be some massive lifechanging epic journey, and some people are able to step back and realise that your entire life shouldn't be consumed by schoolwork. for most of my schooling life i was told that i could achieve any uai i wanted to, i was skipped grades, got all kinds of stupid awards .. but pretty much it meant fuck all to me. sure, if i took subjects like physics and chemistry and studied in order to achieve what people told me i was capable of, i probably could have got that awesome uai that all the teachers at school thought i should have got. but that's not important to everyone, and i know that it's not important to me, so i just picked subjects i liked and cruised through year 12 doing basically fuck all homework or study - i got into the course i always wanted to do, i had a great time in year 12, my parents were stoked about my result anyway.. so really, who cares?

ps; i'm so sorry to all the people in this thread that have absolute douchebag parents. your results are awesome. and even if they weren't like a massively impressive uai, your parents should be grateful that you at least finished year 12, that's more than a lot of kids can say.
 
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whatever14 said:
In short do NOT EVER show disrepect to your parents because everything they are doing is for YOU. Not for them.
cbf editing again .. but yeah, that's not necessarily true. a lot of asian parents (or parents in general) put pressure on their kids to get great results at school, so the parents can save face in front of their peers.
 

whatever14

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I disagree with you katie. With all due respect you said your parents were pleased you got into the course you wanted so i dont think you would know what its like to be under pressure from family, or why parents would put you under pressure. Most migrants families especially asians work very very very hard to give their kids the best in life. And most know that the only the way the kids will get out of their situation (which may involve unemployment in australia even if they were very educated in their home country as is often the case) is through education. If the kids get in to the course they want that is fantastic for everybody and parents would be very happy as mines were with me.

However when the kid doesnt appreciate the parents hard work and effort, and doesnt even TRY to put in effort to please the parents or have no goals or directions when the parents always tells the kids to work hard for the future then offcourse offcourse the parents is likely to be upset with the results, especially when the parents have worked so hard just for the sake of the children. Most people who were born here or are aussie etc or whatever have assets in the country eg a home or something and is likely to inherit something from their families. A lot of migrant families may not have anything and they understand that doing a good course uni is the only way that pays good money is the only way out.

I am NOT talking about saving face here, I am talking about the level of effort put in by the parents for the children and the chilren's lack of appreciation by not studying and getting expected results- Its more about respecting your parents than anything else I would hardly say saving face is an issue because believe it or not most parents get over it.

Off course in a few days most parents would get over the initial dissapointment as happened with my sister, but I cant help feel sorry for them because they had put in soooo much effort for my sister and had sacrificed so much as is the case with most asian/migrant families.

So while its not a big 'fucking' deal to you, it is to thousands of parents who have sacrificed everything for the future.
 

whatever14

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I think at the end of the day if you're happy with it, its because you've met your expectations which is what parents expected for you anyway, just to try your very best with everything you've been given.

If you've studied really really hard and dont get what you expect then I'm sure parents understand how hard you've worked and have seen it, then I am sure your parents won't be very upset because they know how hard you've tried.

If you havent tried at all and are indifferent towards your uai and dont even know what course you want to get into, then parents are likely to get upset, if the're the type that care about these things(i.e asians/curries/migrants).

Congratulations to everyone for getting awesome UAIs. Best of luck in the future, and if you didnt get what you wanted just remember to keep trying and you will get there.
 

pritnep

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Out of interest did your sister get into the course she wanted? Or did she enter the career path that she wanted.

It really is about saving face although yes I can see and very much understand your point. You should also be able to understand that the difference between 97 and 99 or whatever you sisters 'full potential' was is pretty irrelevant. The HSC and the UAI is a means to an end as katietheskatie, brogan and others have explained if you get into the course and career path you wanted - then does it really matter?

I can understand your parents frustration as it sounds like they put a lot of effort into help your sister achieve her and there goals but she beat 97% of the state no matter how you look at that it is an awesome achievement and something to be really proud of. TO that fact she was able to do it by having the balance life she wanted so if anything I suspect after the initial 'shock' your parents realised that it all worked out in the end. Your sister was able to socialise and balance study and the things she wanted to while still received an excellent UAI.

So if anything your parents sacrifice was returned by your sister achieving her best as you should realise her 97 was the best she could do. It really doesn't matter about potential that is immaterial that was her mark and the best she could do while still having a social life and doing what she wanted.

Congratulations on your UAI, awesome effort and result! :)
 

whatever14

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The point is that if you get into the course you want then parents should be happy for you because they want you to be happy at the end of the day. My sister put in NO effort and i think she wanted to do law at sydney but didnt get into it.

Its not so much about the mark but the expectation of the parents and the child. It doesnt really matter if you get 85 or 97 if your course requires a certain mark. For me i only needed a 93 to get into the course i wanted and my parents were very happy when i got over that. However for my sister she hardly put any effort in and was very disrespectful and unappreciative of the hard work my parents put in to ensure she achieves the mark she wants.

At the end of the day i trul believe parents go along with what their kids want and each is interrelated. The kid wants a certain mark and the parents wants the kid to achieve it. The parent wants a certain mark at the kid wants to achieve it. Both linked. However when the kid wants something and the parents see that the kid does no work to achieve it, especially when the parents work so hard offcourse there going to get upset.

Having said that the UAI is by no means the be and end of it all. And parents are aware of that. It is the initial shock that is most upsetting
 

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If you've studied really really hard and dont get what you expect then I'm sure parents understand how hard you've worked and have seen it, then I am sure your parents won't be very upset because they know how hard you've tried.
I totally agree with what you said about respecting parents and how they've been through so much for you - but I do think that a big part of it is also what they can brag about to family and friends.

I worked my ass off during Year 12, but I still didn't get the UAI to get into the course I wanted to do (which unfortunately went up by 5 or 6 points that year). I wasn't too upset about it because I knew there were other ways to get in, and like I said earlier, my dad was initially happy for me... but then as soon as he heard about other people who'd gotten 99.95, 100 etc... he suddenly forgot about how hard I worked, and ranted on about how if fobs could get 100, I should've too... etc etc

I don't know if I'm making sense here, but it's not that I don't respect him and deeply appreciate everything he's done for me - I cried my eyes out at my 21st when I thanked him - but sometimes parents just need to get over the whole "face" thing and let their kids be happy.
 

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basically, if you do your best and appreciate and show respect for the sacrifices your parents make for your education, then it doesnt matter what you get - you've achieved the best you could and your parents should be proud. If they berate you for not doing better when you've done the best you could, that's a horrible thing to do to someone and they need to get over themselves and shut the hell up.

If on the other hand you don't put any effort into your results when your parents are clearly trying as hard as they can to make it happen for you, then your parents have every right to be upset/angry if you get a bad result, or don't get into your course, not because of your mark but because you didnt try. If you put in the effort then you have nothing to be ashamed of, no matter what your result is.
 

dude01

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I'm asian and got a uai in the high 70's last year. My parents were hoping I would do better, but they didn't lecture me about my marks. They even told me they were expecting worse and were happy that I even made it to uni :/ If they did lecture me I would have told them to get fucked, seriously.

Parents can be disappointed in their kids' results, but to lecture and criticise them AFTER the uai has come out is pointless. Tell your parents to get the fuck over it, cause there's nothing you can do to change the final result.

Whatever14 - if I had your parents I would have moved out already. They're crazy to be disappointed in your sis's over 96 uai! Instead of criticising her, how about supporting her! Even if by your standards she didn't work hard enough:mad:

BTW, there's always a way to do what you want! My uai got me into business, then 1 semester later I transferred to law :)
 

pritnep

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Hmmm right you cannot get a 97 and put 'NO effort in' I'm sorry but it isn't possible and your sister deserves more credit then that. I am assuming you both attend top selective\private schools to have this opinion. She beat 97% of the state that takes effort.

At the end of the day she did her best effort in the HSC and her best was a 97 a very, very respectable result that opens so many options. If she really wanted to do law there are plenty of university right around the country that would of accepted 97 so maybe she didn't really want that perhaps your parents did and she just said that to make them happy. After all if it was what she wanted then she would of spent the year after doing whatever it took to make sure she would get into that course.

I'm one of the lucky ones by this thread. My parents were very supportive and understanding. They saw how hard I worked throughout the year and have left all decisions about future studies up to myself. If anything I had my own expectations placed on myself and I meet and went above and beyond those making myself and my parents very pleased.

The fact of the matter remains she got a 97 again as I said before you can't get that without putting in a considerable amount of effort and learning the knowledge so there is no doubt she put effort in to achieve it and was still able to have a social life so if anything it is to her credit.
 

whatever14

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dude01 said:
Parents can be disappointed in their kids' results, but to lecture and criticise them AFTER the uai has come out is pointless. Tell your parents to get the fuck over it, cause there's nothing you can do to change the final result.
IThats very disgusting and i would never tell my parents that because I RESPECT them and have done way too much for us. I dont think anyones getting it. Im EXPLAINING why parents get upset. They get upset if you dont put in effort according to YOUR ABILITES AND EXPECTATIONS FROM YOURSELF. My sis did no to very little work. She got the UAI she did because she is a naturally gifted student and has been since forever. She was out every night and did no work. Yes 96 is a good score, and my parents were so happy, over the moon , bought sweets for everyone, called every person when I got 97 because I worked my butt off to get it!

My parents realise 96 is a good score but there certainly not over the moon about it because they know that she could have done a whole lot better if she had actually listened to them, stopped partying and actually studied! Instead she completely disobeyed and disrespected them at every opportunity, insulted them with that statement ' you just want me to achieve so much because you are all failures' and never listened to a word from anyone.

Its not that my parents are bad or anything, they just have high expectations because my sister was so promising and my parents worked really hard for her . Offcourse my parents are supportive and they just want her to get into a decent course now that she wants to and nothing can be done about her UAI, but that doesn't mean that there are happy about her results! As i've mentioned before, parents get over it because at the end of the day they want you to be happy. It is the initial stage they become upset AND lecture, because obviously unlike you pritnip, not all HSC students are as motivated as you to do well- some need standards set by parents. Its not so much about the UAI as it is by the effort put in by the student and the expectation from them because of past results AND or motivation of the individual student.

EDIT: IF they had seen her actually work hard through the year they would have been very happy regardless of what mark she got whether it was a 90 or 99. But she didnt. She got the marks she did because she is naturally gifted and only needed to do study very little. There are some people(like me) who have to study very very hard to get good marks and then there are others who dont need to study as much.

And to the girl whose parents were happy initially but got upset when they found out the 'fobs' result, i know wats it like. My parents did that to me when someone got a 99.95, but then they said to me, we didnt even expect you to get 95, so its fantastic for you, and on continued the celebrations:)
 
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pritnep

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Well no matter what you say and even if she is naturally gift she would of had to work (there is no way possible that she didn't) and know her courses to get a mark of 97. Whether your parents had high expectations of her or not is immaterial she did the best she possibly could and if that meant she couldn't handle\didn't want to study 24/7 then so be it. You have to also understand and if anyone can it's you the immense pressure she was under not just from your parents but the school (it's students and teachers) to preform she might of started partying to rebel. Anyway that is immaterial she handled the HSC the best way she knew how and to handle it she needed to socialise get out and just experience being a teenager and to forgot about school and study for a night.

Hmmm but at the end of the day the HSC is your HSC. Although yes I do agree with you that some people do need that extra push and motivation from outside sources to work to their full potential. What the HSC does show is how you work, learn and preform as a young adult and individual learner. The HSC is your exam and your pathway to your future although yes parents have expectations and want their students to do well at the end of the day it is about he student and what the student wants and where they want to go. I guess on the other points we will have to agree to disagree.
 

P_Dilemma

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whatever14 said:
Its not that my parents are bad or anything, they just have high expectations because my sister was so promising and my parents worked really hard for her . Of course my parents are supportive and they just want her to get into a decent course now that she wants to and nothing can be done about her UAI, but that doesn't mean that there are happy about her results!
The way this has been put, it feels as though your sister has been treated as an investment that has yielded a less-than acceptable return. 96-97... at that level i'm not so sure the margins matter. Well, i'm not one of you, so maybe i cant judge...

whatever14 said:
As i've mentioned before, parents get over it because at the end of the day they want you to be happy.
Hope this is true for all of us/

whatever14 said:
It is the initial stage they become upset AND lecture, because obviously unlike you pritnip, not all HSC students are as motivated as you to do well- some need standards set by parents. Its not so much about the UAI as it is by the effort put in by the student and the expectation from them because of past results AND or motivation of the individual student.
That depends on the situation. You say it depends more on effort spent rather than UAI result? Then why aren't your parents happy? surely she put in loads more effort thatn the average person.

What does that say about our parents? Us?

-P_D
 

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Riviet said:
I was happy and my parents seemed to be proud of me :)
Haha I got the same in 2003. Congratulations! Except I cried for days lol. It doesnt even seem to matter no more! I believe my parents must have been proud as I had been in Australia for only 3 years back then! I wish I had enjoyed the moment a bit more. I had missed the 95 mark. Don't even want to go back and think of it.

My parents had hoped for more from me and my twin. My twin got 94.85. My course only hardly needed an 85ish. But things have worked for good. I got a scholarship at uni regardless! Worked at IBM in this time and my interview was published in the ACS Information age magazine in this Oct/Nov issue.

So guys, do not despair. UAI does not reflect success in professional and practical life! It is ok. You never know what happens with the future. So shine out. Be outstanding and an all rounder.

However what I feel is wrong is I still have a high school attitude of being a perfectionist and doing very well at uni. So it kinda sucks.

Anyways good luck everyone!
 
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whatever14 said:
Thats really nasty because have seen first hand how hard parents work. I got 97 in the HSC and my parents were over the moon because i was the 'dumb one' in the family and they had no expectations from me.

My sister was a really really brillian girl since primary school and came first in school in school certificate(she went to selective school- north sydney). She had always been brilliant. However in year 11 she began to slack off heaps going out with boyfriends etc and my parents became very worried and hired sooo many tutors for her( must have spend 1000s of dollars) as to encourage her to do well. she attended all tutorials and everything yet she never studied. My parents kept warning her, we're doing so much for you the least you can do is take advantage of it (we're not rich at all). My parents worked sooooo hard for her and she didnt show any respect or appreciation.

Anyway long story short this brilliant girl only got 96, and while that might be good for some it certainly was not for her. She had gotten lower marks than me not because she was dumber (which she definately wasnt) but she had hardly studied at all while my parents kept insisting she take her studies seriously as they were spending so much on her and they expected at least a higher UAI from her than me because she was the ones with the brains. I had received no tuition and she had because she had the potential to score over 99. My parents had every right to be upset because they had spend so much and had so much expectation from her and she had just wasted all their efforts.

In short do NOT EVER show disrepect to your parents because everything they are doing is for YOU. Not for them. If my sister had studied and put in heaps of effort and THEN gotten the marks she did my parents would have been fine, because she did try. If she had SHOWN she was upset with her marks, they would have been more sympathetic, but she did just kept on going her way and didnt listen to any one else, and hardly tried ever and thats why parents get upset.
Wait a second, so instead of devoting her life to the all important high school she actually went out WITH HER BOYFRIEND? Wow! How dare she have any form of a social life. And 96, that's a disgusting mark, it's not like that was good enough for what she wanted to do or anything and really had not that great an outcome on her life, she should go hang herself in shame for being in the top 4 percentile or however much it actually is. I mean, your parents put money into this investment so that they could show off to the world and the mark was only absolutley fantastic rather than near perfect.

But yes, your parents were right to treat your sister like she was a better and more important person because she was the "gifted one", and it is perfectly understandable not to expect much from you, after all look how bad your mark turned out to be.
 

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perhaps, it is time to put the past behind us and to move on...

i'm trying to but im going to go to family christmas party on the 25th- where all the distant and close relatives are going to gather together... question me on my preferences... interrogate me on my career... and god knows what... trust me, relatives are worse than the parents...
 
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hey.. yep another asian ... but my parents reaction wen they saw my results were... 'so your in uni rite?'




my parents didnt really care about my marks. they were expecting me NOT to make it into uni, let alone a course that i wanted to do. so yeh... to make ur parents put less pressure on u to get into uni or get high marks... get a 2/50 in maths like i did in yr 10 hahahaha
btw i got a uai of 72.75 :)

congrats to all those ppl that got wat they wanted ~! :)
 

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