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What was your parents & family reaction to your UAI? (1 Viewer)

fallen__angel

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morning of UAI: check UAI - 84.80

11am: mum calls from overseas. "so? what's the number?"
me: 84.80.....
mum: oh...um..ok...
*long pause*

mum: so you'll be doing education then, right? I mean, you can't do any other courses because your UAI is so low.
me: I suppose.
mum: don't broadcast your UAI out! it's too shameful! just say you got into USYD!
me: ...as you wish...:mad1:

dad (on the phone, after I told him): oh that's alright I guess...congratulations. It's all done for you! go out and celebrate or something!

My parents are old-age asians, but I think my dad's reaction was rather...strange...perhaps he'd already given up hope on me since start of yr12:rofl:
 

sando

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ur mum sounds like the tight one.

congrats on 84.80.. its a solid effort
 

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sando said:
ur mum sounds like the tight one.

congrats on 84.80.. its a solid effort
yeah congrats! ... gosh sometimes i wish parents could just be proud that their child has even finished year 12, that's substantially more than a lot of people ever do. like i understand the asian parent mentality if i may call it that (even though i'm not asian myself) but i mean, as long as you end up where you want to be then your uai is meaningless! remind your mum that you did technically beat 84.80 percent of the state, that's pretty damn impressive. :)
 

fallen__angel

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I didn't expect my UAI to be higher than 85 anyways, cos of all the pains I went thru since mid yr11. So when I got my results I was more or less satisfied.
I reckon my mum was more worried about bragging off my results to family friends who all have kids in selective and private schools.

But then, most of those selective school 'smart ppl' tend to perform worse in uni becos they're so used to having teachers and parents spoonfeed the info to them.
 
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fallen__angel said:
But then, most of those selective school 'smart ppl' tend to perform worse in uni becos they're so used to having teachers and parents spoonfeed the info to them.
Negative, you can't generalise like that. Information is spoonfed sure, but its like that with high school in general, its not restricted to selective schools or the private schools. In selective schools there are many 'smart ppl' but there are just as many others who work insanely hard for their mark. You're just saying that because these said 'smart ppl' are more prevalent in selective school.

Selective schools get the same resources as the non selective high schools. The whole point of selective schools is to group good students together to go well together...its not to get the good students with the best teachers to make the good students even better. Oh btw, selective school students arent necessarily 'smart', they just arent stupid.
 

mitsui

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Again, this is like arguing whether a glass of water is half full or half empty.

Selective school is suppose to group the majority of good students together so they can study at a faster pace etc. Unfortunately but true, they do have advantages over others in some cases such as funds, teachers and their own family backgrounds (being able to offer tuition, extra textbooks yididadida.)

Personally I believe although the world is sometimes unfairly divided, it really depends on the person herself/himself to work hard to get what he/she wants.

Ps. I wish to reinforce that the main reason why Asian families push so hard on their children is because they care. We aren't asked to get 100, we were just expected to take the chance to study and have a better life (in most cases). our parents werent given that chance.
 
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fallen__angel

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mitsui said:
Ps. I wish to reinforce that the main reason why Asian families push so hard on their children is because they care.
I'd love to disagree on that but it would be immature of me to do so. Asian parents (the ones who push their children to the point of madness) tend to focus on the academic side of things. That's because that's how they have been brought up - thinking that the only way to suceed in life is to become doctors, professors, etc.
*sigh* Somehow I feel this discussion is getting out of hand

btw mitsui you going to school for that arvo tea thingy?
 
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mitsui said:
Again, this is like arguing whether a glass of water is half full or half empty.

Selective school is suppose to group the majority of good students together so they can study at a faster pace etc. Unfortunately but true, they do have advantages over others in some cases such as funds, teachers and their own family backgrounds (being able to offer tuition, extra textbooks yididadida.)

Personally I believe although the world is sometimes unfairly divided, it really depends on the person herself/himself to work hard to get what he/she wants.

Ps. I wish to reinforce that the main reason why Asian families push so hard on their children is because they care. We aren't asked to get 100, we were just expected to take the chance to study and have a better life (in most cases). our parents werent given that chance.

There wasn't any true advantage from going to my selective school (I went to a regional one) apart from good students coming together, which is the point of going to one over your other local schools. The teachers, although not bad weren't the best but they did care more, as the students cared about marks more, unlike the average student at other local schools. We got the same resources as the rest of the state. Anyone who took a look at the school or went to school there couldnt say we got a whole lot of funding. But I understand at some selective schools, in particular the Sydney ones DO have those advantages, as in parents willing to pay more, take a more active role in their students education and things like that that doesnt really make it any different to a private school. My school wasnt like that.

Totally agree on the rest. Asian parents dont want their children to suffer like they did.
 

tehealy

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Our daughter got 68.65. She was hoping for mid to low 70's. She worked so hard and achieved some amazing results but her assessment marks pulled her down. We are so proud of what she has achieved & of how smart & hard working she is, we just wish we could protect her from feeling disappointed with her UAI! Some parents take their children's achievements for granted. Your parents should be proud of you! It was not this hard when your parents did their HSC just remember that.
 

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fallen__angel said:
morning of UAI: check UAI - 84.80

11am: mum calls from overseas. "so? what's the number?"
me: 84.80.....
mum: oh...um..ok...
*long pause*

mum: so you'll be doing education then, right? I mean, you can't do any other courses because your UAI is so low.
me: I suppose.
mum: don't broadcast your UAI out! it's too shameful! just say you got into USYD!
me: ...as you wish...:mad1:

dad (on the phone, after I told him): oh that's alright I guess...congratulations. It's all done for you! go out and celebrate or something!

My parents are old-age asians, but I think my dad's reaction was rather...strange...perhaps he'd already given up hope on me since start of yr12:rofl:

Education? there are loads more courses than that with lower UAIs.
 

BlackDragon

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fallen__angel said:
morning of UAI: check UAI - 84.80

11am: mum calls from overseas. "so? what's the number?"
me: 84.80.....
mum: oh...um..ok...
*long pause*

mum: so you'll be doing education then, right? I mean, you can't do any other courses because your UAI is so low.
me: I suppose.
mum: don't broadcast your UAI out! it's too shameful! just say you got into USYD!
me: ...as you wish...:mad1:

dad (on the phone, after I told him): oh that's alright I guess...congratulations. It's all done for you! go out and celebrate or something!

My parents are old-age asians, but I think my dad's reaction was rather...strange...perhaps he'd already given up hope on me since start of yr12:rofl:
wtf kind of reaction is that? any parent who isn't 100% supportive and caring regardless of their child's results is an idiot. (no offence to yours at all fallen_angel). it shouldn't be about the results if the student tried hard. and even if they didn't should not react like that at all.
 

john31459

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I did VCE and finished a few years ago. Don't worry about dodgy family reactions, guys. It doesn't matter as long as you're happy with your results.

Having said that, mum gave me the same congratulatory hug she would have given if I'd accomplished anything and then said she hopes my life turns out better than hers did :s

My dad reacted like any indifferent yet controlling father would. He was pleased enough until I told him what course I put down.

But my Aunt was awesome, she was really excited and told all her neighbours and asked me if I wanted a party lol.
 
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haque

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mitsui said:
Again, this is like arguing whether a glass of water is half full or half empty.

Selective school is suppose to group the majority of good students together so they can study at a faster pace etc. Unfortunately but true, they do have advantages over others in some cases such as funds, teachers and their own family backgrounds (being able to offer tuition, extra textbooks yididadida.)

Personally I believe although the world is sometimes unfairly divided, it really depends on the person herself/himself to work hard to get what he/she wants.

Ps. I wish to reinforce that the main reason why Asian families push so hard on their children is because they care. We aren't asked to get 100, we were just expected to take the chance to study and have a better life (in most cases). our parents werent given that chance.
it's the ones requiring tuition that usually stuff up in uni cos uni requires independent learning but seriously just cos ppl go to selective doesn't mean they can afford extra tuition and textbooks(from my experience-however i borrowed good ones from the local library). It is to your credit yyou did so well without tutoring. In fact all of the guys ranked up the top didn't do any tutoring.

In selective schools they don't certainly spoonfeed(not in reference to ur quote btw) in fact the teachers are just as indifferent as any other school, in fact at non selective schools teachers are more caring and supportive9again from my experience).

What I also noticed is that teachers, year advisers and principals have favourites from year 7 and no matter how brilliantly a person performs in external competitons or at school, they have a deep hate for them if they aren't one of the favourites-from my experience selective schools aren't all they are cracked up to be, my maths and science teachers (note teachers not head teachers)were great to me but the other aspects of school really angered me(especially the corruption in places of authority i.e faculty head teachers etc.) As much as i liked my school their indifference and spite towards me has made me pretty angry.
 
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andykillz

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I haven't done my HSC yet but i know what the reaction is. At first i started out at a community/local school so there asian expectations were me getting over 90, which i can deal with. Now that I'm going to a selective school they are expecting 99 o.0. Not gonna happen!
 

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Jachie said:
A child's happiness should be more important than their achievements. And I think some parents lose sight of that.
Lucky my parents aren't like that. Yes I have to agree with you that - life is not all about study, study, study. Some parents should realise that
 
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Yes yes, all idealists here aren't we? Maybe you should all realise where these parents come from.

Give the Asian parents a break, its all they know...forgive them for growing up with a good work ethic and placing some value on education...Forgive them for passing on their values to their children...Forgive the Asian parents for having Asian friends who have worked so hard to get somewhere in life only for their kids to do nothing but screw up, waste time and throw away their lives. It happens.

People harp on about kids just wanting to be happy, and ultimately thats all the Asian parents want. They are giving their children opportunity to succeed, most parents wouldnt give a damn about their children to give them that chance, no matter how talented they are. An education is important, no matter what field you go to, and asian parents are givin their children an oopportunity.

Ok Il concede that some Asian parents have a ridiculous stance at times, but really the majority are good and genuinely care.
 
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You really can't justify, though, how much money some asians pour into tutoring and coaching services. It is, in most cases, highly unnecessary. The exact same results can be duplicated with no cost, merely an act of dedication on the child's part.

There are some overzealous asians out there who are not in the right. They push their kids too hard. I think that they have lost the fundamentals of a healthy family relationship completely. I've witnessed many tyranny and submission scenarios.

These asian parents also bitch and cat fight between themselves about said kids' academic prowess. They probably love their kids -- but they'll only "love" them enough when they have achieved enough to give them superiority over the other parents of their clique.

My mother is asian, and no, she applies no pressure (she herself was pushed as a kid, no love from her parents, and doesn't want to repeat the same thing). She merely issues me some firm and rational advice about trying for my best and putting responsibility first, teaches me that high marks are in no way synonomous with success in life and thus shouldn't be my only concern in life anyway (Jesus...I've got uni to think about. And employment, bills, etc in the future to think about. Imagine if I died of stress right here and now), and lets me alone to work how I want to work.
 
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i only got 98, so my asian parents beat me within an inch of my life and threatened to cook me for use in food at their take away restaurant.
 

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