Best+Worst of Teacher Quotes and Habits (5 Viewers)

[Brontecat]

my maths teacher has the best habits if its quiet and everybodys working he'll do something random or start telling a random story or if everyone starts getting distracted he just goes with the flow and suggests a game of indoor cricket with the dice and a metre ruler

gotta love maths

 

[AlphabetSoup]

Surds in year 9:
Maths teacher: So I was over at a student's place on the weekend, teaching her unreal roots...

*roars with laughter* That is so funny!!!

 

[allira92]

biology class, talking about dissecting a plant.

teacher: see last time i did the prac with my old yr 12's it was the middle of winter so i was having trouble finding flowers.... and then i'm driving to school and i drive past the cemetry and just for a split second the thought crossed my mind

 

[LeetSpeek]

My Physics Teacher explaining how to write a structured essay on how waves are used in practical real life scenarios

"now remember you cant write down 1 word and expect to get full marks, unless that word however is a really good word, like bribery"

An english Sub which was very conservative

someone accidently let fly the word "fuck"

the english sub "DONT SAY THE FUCK WORD" instead of "DONT SAY THE F WORD"

My economics teacher was telling my business studies teacher to watch Lateline Business on tv, in front of the class

When he left the door she says "Like i dont have anything better to do"

My economics teacher convincing a red headed boy to drop out of economics

"see time, i know you blend in very nicely with the walls (they were orange) but if your not going to do any work you should get out of economics"

This was ecspecially funny as that kid always slouched against the wall.

 

[-PaRkS-]

we were in photography and someone decided to do their assignment on emos
Teacher: i remember the goo times whem emo was just a character on seaseme Street
Whole Class (there only 3 of us): umm miss thats elmo
Teacher:no im pretty sure its emo

got into a big arguement that had to be settled with a google search of elmo

 

[gurusson]

one of our DP's told a yr 12 girl "you can't have your breats back untill you bring a note"
The Other DP: Student:would you have killed julious Ceasere
DP: no, i would have slept with him

 

[gurusson]

one of the girls that used to do ext 1 maths, doing curve sketching for the second time asked..."is a concave up parabola a smilly one"

 

[KillerIsMe]

My year 10 science teacher was actually insane.
We wrote down all the stupid things he said, some of which include:

"Now if I was to show you a graph, from the begining of ALL mankind, about 5000 years ago..."
"There will be people flying at the speed of light off the Earth, and bodies piled up to the moon"
"The population didn't increase because people had bad eating habits"
"You can't get bird flu from eating birds, and it's not contagious, but birds give it to you"
"You can get bird flu from the birds sneezing"

There is also an awesome page on Something Awful which has heaps of stupid teacher quotes.

Dumb Things Said By Teachers

 

[simplyyme]

LOL my maths teacher im yr 7 said this

teacher: "I tell my dog to sit once, he sits - I tell you guys to shut up a thousand times and you still don't shut up"

class: *awkward silence* *then roars with laughter*


and oh god my bio teacher is the BIGGEST crack up, every lesson he always does something stupid and hilarious !
eg: i think our class was discussing something to do with breeding, and someone asked " Can a dog and cat have babies"
then he was like " It's not about putting something in a hole , its a matter of getting something out of it"

keep in mind that, he was doing that hand action when your put one of your finger into a hole made with your thumb and index, but he was doing that really fast and with a funny as face.

 

[TheFeared]

My teacher was trying to teach me asymptotes and he was really off and said:

'Asymptotes is like trying to get to Darling Harbour on a train, you can never really get there but you can if you get off the train and walk there'

And another one was in PE where we were doing 'Risky Business' we had a stoner asian teacher was a goatee and tied up hair called Mr Yee and he tripped over the bin and said'OH!! That's risky business there' and later on, I don't know why but he was saying something like 'You wouldn't just go out to Chinatown and shout out "Hey Mr Yee!!"' and my friend thoguht 'Ohh, because there are a lot of Yees' and he went on to say something about it being disrespectful

He was really off it, he sleeps in class too.

My teacher was trying to explain how it will click
Teacher - "When I was doing my masters, I kept telling lecturer, 'I don't get this' and his lecturer responded with 'Don't worry, it'll all click' and a few weeks before his exam I kept going 'I still dont get this!' but it eventually clicked, like this domain and range will'
So now, we do mock that a lot, with a lot of people going randomly 'oh it will just click' which eventually ends with peopel laughing

 

[AlphabetSoup]

Lol, once we had an Asian sub and his writing was really messy so we asked what it said (it was his name), and so he wrote it in Chinese. So we were like 'Oh, we don't read Chinese' Then he turned to us and was like 'Well you better learn, because when all of Asia invades Australia, what are you going to do?' He sounded totally serious.

Then he handed out sheets of Westlife music and made us sing.

We were in English...

His name was Mr Chong and we all thought it was funny cos he told us that no one else in Asia has that last name and we were like 'Huh?'

 

[Drongoski]

Talking of Mr Chong, for those of you of Chinese extraction but have very vague ideas about your surnames:

1) Mr Chong is quite common in Malaysia & Singapore

2) Most overseas Chinese in S E Asia came from southern China and were mostly Hokkien, Cantonese, Teochew, Hakka & Hainanese. The way their dialect surnames were Romanised depends on which country they settled. In Malaysia & Singapore, the clerks at the Registry of Birth were not terribly well-educated, many were non-Chinese, were not good at phonetics and there was hardly any standardisation of surnames (unlike Hong Kong).

3) Thus Chong (usually Cantonese/Hakka) is variously also spelt Choong, Chung, Cheong as well. In Hong Kong this surname is Cheung.


4) This surname in Hokkien & Teochew is usually given as Teo, Teoh or even Thio (as in Indonesia).

5) In Mandarin this used to be Chang (Koreans used Chang, Jang etc) and now in PRC's standardised Hanyu Pinyin it is Zhang.

6) The Vietnamese give this as Truong


(I'm sorry this is not he right place for this posting. I just noticed the name 'Mr Chong' claiming his surname is unique. If any Chinese Aussie with surnames like Lim, Ong, Yeo, Tan, Chua, Goh, etc is interested in finding out a little more, please initiate a new thread for this; I don't know how to do it)

 

[Jude THR]

my chem class is pretty small, consisting of 7 students and our teacher is our year advisor, so we all get along fairly well. we insult each other a lot and one day my teacher says to one of the boys..

"Your a tool. But your not even a good tool, your an Ozito"




Then back in year 10 maths, we had a sub for about 4 weeks while our regular teacher was away. this guy was a absolute idiot and we hardly listened to a word he said cause it was all pointless.

our topic at the time was income, so he explained it as simply as he could

"Income is simple to understand. First you have the in and then you have the come"

my best friends got it as soon as he said it, but it took the rest of the class a few second to get it. we never let him live it down

 

[khorne]

We once had an old Russian teacher in year 8...Numbers with 3 in them were always fun:

Eg:

1/3 became one turd
3 = tree
30 = dirty
33 1/3 = dirty tree and a turd

One time, someone actually drew a tree in algebra instead of a 3..oh the hilarity.

 

[--Liam--]

*Modern History teacher gets us skittles every day 5 afternoon double*
Teacher: My kids used to be so excited when i got them skittles, they used to run down the stairs! and then one day they didn't come down the stairs to get their skittles...
*wow...that sucks...*

 

[astroe]

Teacher: "Your story, to me, was a 'wet dream of getting raped by Roy Batty'"
Me: "...... WHAT?"

 

[AlphabetSoup]

Teacher: "Your story, to me, was a 'wet dream of getting raped by Roy Batty'"
Me: "...... WHAT?"

Interesting...what subject did this teacher teach?

 

[Miss Code]

In society and culture:
Me: Sir can I have a note to go home
Teacher: NO (joking)
Me: *takes him the note for him to sign.*
Teacher : Why you going home?
Me: Have another migrain, going to the doctors this afternoon.
Teacher: Your not pregs are you?
Me: NO, im going to hit you with this book now! *hits in the head*

Moral of the story - dont ask if ur students pregs!:rofl:

 

[possessionless]

oh yeah, and once, my ext maths teacher was trying to say "concurrent lines" and he got a bit tongue tied

he said "c**t" instead..

the class nearly died laughingg lol


that same maths teacher usedd to bake us cakes sometimes when we used to have our fortnightly double period last year hahahaha

LOL! i so remember that!
& hahaha at the cakes. that honestly was so lame lol.

 

[pman]

Interesting...what subject did this teacher teach?

He would have taught english becouse Roy batty is a character in Blade runner, one of the module b texts atm