I had this one english teacher a couple of years ago who used to always complain about people going to the bathroom during class and he always said stuff like,
"You need to go again? I must really give you the shits"
and there was a guy in the class whose last name was Bates and the teacher always called him Master Bates (masturbates).
I had another English teacher who used to say please all the time but she pronounced it plessssss, "Homework plesssssss" "Quiet plesssss"
And there was this one teacher who called all the girls Fairy Bell and all the boys Bozo.
Then I had a roll call teacher who always said every morning as we were walking out the door to class,
"Learn lots, be a sponge!"
My geography teacher in year 9 always used to say, "Walk like educated Australians"