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Funny Exam Answers (1 Viewer)

jazzmuzik

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There was an Fwd email i received ages ago with a heap of funny HSC answer actually written on past exam papers.
Has anyone still got it? I've looked everywhere trying to find a copy of it but no longer can. There's also a more recent one where a student sketched a ninja turtle on one of the questions.. (its not this email though :( this one had lots more answers, and funnier ones)...

anyone?
 

bringbackshred

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Re: funny HSC answers?

I'd also love to see this.

I still remember the music 1 response that described a 'mad bass line' that 'sounded nice'.
 

yoakim

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Re: funny HSC answers?

I only know of two:
1)
Q. Find x on the triangle
A. Student drew a circle around the variable 'x' and said "x is here"

2)
Q. Expand the bracket (x+y)
A. ( x+y )
( x+y ) ...and the brackets expand wider....
 

bringbackshred

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Re: funny HSC answers?

yoakim said:
I only know of two:
1)
Q. Find x on the triangle
A. Student drew a circle around the variable 'x' and said "x is here"


2)
Q. Expand the bracket (x+y)
A. ( x+y )
( x+y ) ...and the brackets expand wider....
Lol. Never seen that one before... <.<
 

wrxsti

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Re: funny HSC answers?

lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
that triangle one is sooooooooooo funny lmaoooo
does any1 have anymore?
or does anyone have that email?
 

xoxo

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Re: funny HSC answers?

i have this one...i dont think its hsc but some of them are kinda funny.
i think i have seen this email ur talking about thought - not sure where.........


Actual misphrased excerpts from student science exam papers
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.

Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.

The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.

The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.

To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.

The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.

A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.

The cuckoo bird does not lay his own eggs.

To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of them.

Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.

Geometry teaches us to bisex angles.

A circle is a line which meets its other end without ending.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader.

We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and study of rocks.

English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse.

By self-pollination, the farmer may get a flock of long-haired sheep.

If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

Vegetative propagation is the process by which one individual manufactures another individual by accident.

A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.

Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

A person should take a bath once in the summer, and not quite so often in the winter.

The hookworm larvae enters the human body through the soul.

When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.

It is a well-known fact that a deceased body harms the mind.

Humans are more intelligent than beasts because the human branes have more convulsions.

For fainting: rub the person's chest, or if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead.

For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.

For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

For nosebleed: put the nose much lower than the body.

For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration.

To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

For snakebites: bleed the wound and rape the victim in a blanket for shock.

For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

Bar magnets have north and south poles, horseshoe magnets have east and west poles.

When water freezes you can walk on it. That is what Christ did long ago in wintertime.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
 

ellen.louise

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Re: funny HSC answers?

Subject: Metaphors Found in NSW Year 12 English essays

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature prime English beef.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot oil.

Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
 

bringbackshred

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Re: funny HSC answers?

ellen.louise said:
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
I'm using that. In something. Somewhere.
 

wrxsti

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Re: funny HSC answers?

i dont get this big one :S

loll sorry i do lmao im dumb :S
 
Last edited:

Fish Sauce

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Re: funny HSC answers?

I love the ATM one and the brother-in-law Phil one.

I've also seen one where someone writes something about using calculus to find the identity of Batman.

It integrates Bruce Wayne in regards to a bat, or something like that. I'll try and find it later.
 

goosiegoo

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Re: funny HSC answers?

Fish Sauce said:
I love the ATM one and the brother-in-law Phil one.

I've also seen one where someone writes something about using calculus to find the identity of Batman.

It integrates Bruce Wayne in regards to a bat, or something like that. I'll try and find it later.
 

Fish Sauce

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Re: funny HSC answers?

Sweet, thanks for that. Saved me some of my "precious" time, heh.
 

FridayEvening

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Re: funny HSC answers?

ellen.louise said:
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature prime English beef.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot oil.

Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
This shit is gold. I must remember to blatantly [SIZE=-1]plagiarise[/SIZE] it at some point.
 

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