Not Being Able To Feel Butterflies. (1 Viewer)

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Serius

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Yeah I'm going to have some alone time now.

I just called up the guy I was seeing for a few weeks... he's coming in an hour and I'm going to tell him that we should stop seeing each other.

I feel like I've had 10 breakups in the last 3 months. Definetely need some time alone.

Argh, this is so frightening, as I get such bursts of intense loneliness every now and then. And today I'm cutting all my lines.

I'm really all sad and stuff right now...
As a sidetrack, what do you think would be the best way for someone to handle the breakup talk?

personally i am all for the acting like it doesnt bother you

" you wanna break up? yeah ok. Are you gonna eat that?" "aight i gotta go, ill seeya around sometime!"
 

tommykins

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As a sidetrack, what do you think would be the best way for someone to handle the breakup talk?

personally i am all for the acting like it doesnt bother you

" you wanna break up? yeah ok. Are you gonna eat that?" "aight i gotta go, ill seeya around sometime!"
in my experience it's best to just accept it and break ALL kinds of contact with them. msn phone facebook whatever.
 

emw

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no takers hey.

everyone else feels the butterflies.
I reckon you're acting on impulse, lust not love.
You'll get your butterflies when you find the right one.
Sometimes, if you're too focussed on finding what you want you miss it.
I'm nearly going on 2 years in my relationship and i still get butterflies.
Also helps if the relationship is moving forward.
 

Skeeta

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I did this. Was only a few months before I got together with my current lover - and I got the butterflies bigtime. Thing is, I was so over my ex even before we broke up. I think that definitely helped.

You might just need some "alone" time as you said, OR you just need to find something a little bit different. Don't fall into what is your type and what isn't.. give a few people a go and you might get some tingles
 

Graney

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HalyconSky makes sum excellent points.

I find the whole idea of you saying their is 'real chemistry'/the guy's are attractive and then you having no excitement contradictory. Let's face it, the only person that can make someone feel attracted to them is THAT person. You say it's you, but your just holding back...it's THEM.

My guess is they engage you too logically. Girls want to be taken back to year 3, they want a guy who pulls off crazy, random shit and makes you feel like a giggling schoolgirl again...they want to be engaged on their RH Brain i.e. Emotions. These guy’s were probably ‘VALUE SUCKERS’ which means they offer you no value, but only try to take value. That means, within your interaction, they are REACTIVE- which subconsciously communicates low-value within your brain and causes a complete loss of attraction. Eg of reactiveness- whenever their reality is tested they respond strongly with emotional investment. Say for instance a random guy busted into your date while you’re out and made you laugh etc. A reactive male would probably tell him to fuck off etc, start getting angry or maybe even justify his position after the guy leaves by seeking your validation. This could b through saying “he was a dick ey” or “why would you laugh at that joke etc, I’m funnier aren’t I?” Other examples would be instant jealousy lines if you mention other guys, past bf’s, seeking your approval on issues (not ‘leading’ on dates), wearing items in PROJECTION of validation/general reaction as opposed to it being an expression of self. If you haven’t yet tested these guy’s congruence, I think it would be the best place to start.

Now looks, smartness, pffff that actually means VERY LITTLE- they are just factors you’re socially conditioned to believe are attractive- and this case obviously proves that this conditioning is a fallacy (given your lack of interest). A girl I knew (who was around your age) told me: "The most attractive thing she can think of is a guy on his path". I'll let you think about what that means, as every girl probably envisages that slightly differently. But I think agreement would be reached that he is in his OWN reality, clear cut goals, you can feel his positive/non nervous vibe, has his own social circle, gives value/fun to your life but doesn't need any from you- the idea that he could walk away at any moment and be equally happy as his mating options are VAST. Remember these are subconscious attraction cues, as opposed to what you might rationalise- which has been conditioned anyway (oh how real life varies from American films).

That ideal guy would also have little ego- he is in touch with his core masculine purposes as a man and can define who he is without reference to external sources. All his behaviour is congruent with his PATH and who he is; you never second guess that he is 'acting' or not really being himself. He doesn't 'identify' through labels- the Jock, the surfer, the player etc. He may EXPRESS himself with similarities to these stereotypes- but strip them away; he would still hold an independent identity.

Overall, I wasn't there- but I think these guys were probably wanting too much from you. Going down the traditional 'ask you on a date' route, slowly try and sexually escalate, start buying you things, tell a joke here and there and basically kiss your ass. It's adorable having a fan club, but as a modern, sexually mature woman you don't need that- you want an equal, a MAN.

-Cookie182
Thanks neil strauss.
 

Cookie182

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Thanks neil strauss.
Haha nah Neil Strauss sucks- he still uses 'pickup lines' lol

I'd say more thanks Richard Dwarkins/Splashes of David Deida and Robin Baker/Eckhart Tolle/ Personal Experience :)
 
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Graney

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I must have missed the bit where Richard Dawkins outlined the routine he uses for sarging hb 8-9's.
 

Cookie182

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I must have missed the bit where Richard Dawkins outlined the routine he uses for sarging hb 8-9's.
Haha poor guy, u know i did read the other day he is quite lonely

Just hit u with sum +ve rep man, your a cool guy
 

Cookie182

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Please tell us about how you 'neg' women and then play 'cocky-funny' to disarm any 'amogs', while simultaneously 'displaying higher-value'.
Nah dude you've "blown me out", u seem to have all the facts :)

fuck I'm bored, wats ur msn?
 

Cookie182

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Stop being nice to me, it's unsettling.
So this is it?

Epic "Friend close" Fail?

haha noooooooooo

I think i did read in one of your other posts, you do initially hold a distaste to most people? I am serious, I think msn chat would b worthy, but if your not up for it, then so be :(
 

Cookie182

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hmm boys its usually a bit earli in the night but...

fuck that, threesome, right now!

I got a cam ;)
 
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