Fallen in love with a friend? (1 Viewer)

celery

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wow! That really is great! It's like a fairy-tale sorta ending..! haha! congrats nat! =)
 

King Tut

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Casmira said:
Its very rare that good friends actually fall for eachother, I thought that ladder theory was foolproof :(
I don't think it's that rare. i've heard a stack of stories about close friends falling for each other, and i have had the unpleasant co-incidence of it actually happening to me.....my gf fell for her best friend while we were going out....

Anyway, glad it worked out for you. All the best.
 
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dodgyfilokid said:
I've went through the same predicament before. I fell in love with one of my good friends. I told her and she accepted it but when I tried to push it to the next level ( I mean ask her out), she buckled and said that she wasn't ready yet. That really hit me coz I thought that she was the one and it took me ages to get over it. The same thing happened months later when I started liking my mate's ex. She knew but she was just brushing it aside; it got to the point that I even was willing to schedule my birthday dinner a day earlier so that she can attend it and then ask her out on that night. After months she finally said no coz she was goin out wit this bloke that she knew from her cousin. So yeh its too much trouble for me
wow that is almost exactly what i went through in year 11! really sucks doesn't it

King Tut said:
I don't think it's that rare. i've heard a stack of stories about close friends falling for each other, and i have had the unpleasant co-incidence of it actually happening to me.....my gf fell for her best friend while we were going out....

Anyway, glad it worked out for you. All the best.
hmm maybe just its my end that gets unoften friendships developing into relationships? who knows

glad that thing worked out for you fly.away.fairy
 

flyingdown

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Hey Nat,
that worked out nicely...not. Just so everyone knows, she is regretting everything now. And deosn't want to go out with him anymore.
*sigh* commitment problems.
I suggest we start a new topic asking what to do when you are going out with someone and don't really want to anyomore?

xx Val
 

tlodg

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fly.away.fairy said:
Latley, i have fallen in love with my guy best friend. We spend alot of time together, and talk HEAPS.
He used to like me at some point last year but i was too stupid to tell him that i only saw him as a friend. It put quite alot of akwardness on our relationship but now we are back to the fantastic friendship we have before. And only now have i realised how much i DO like him. I know..stupid me...
The thing is he wants to ask this girl in year 8 out!! And hes in year 11. She jsut turned 13..but he seems to like her very much..however sometimes he is confused on his feelings so i find myself thinking that i mgiht still have a chance. He has come very close to asking her out..but still hasnt made the step. Should i tell him how i feel before all is lost? Or should i keep it to myself and try to forget it and jsut be happy with the friendship we have now???
u weren't stupid to reject him.
u just didn't like him that time, and honesty like this, should be appreciated.
a lot of times......we feel that we like/love someone because we are used to them being around, and when they started showing interest in someone else, we fear that they will leave us or neglect us. and also.....after such a long time being together (close and all that), it's hard to believe that he doesn't have any feelings for you.....
let me just say
if he still treats you the same as before you rejected him
then u might still stand a chance....
why does he like the yr8 girl out? is it infatuation? u better wish so.
don't keep it to urself, u might not want to let him "slip" outta ur hands or u'll regret a lot when u have to see him with this girl and listen to him talk about their intimate details and secrets with her.....
it is torture.
 

azzie

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flyingdown said:
Hey Nat,
that worked out nicely...not. Just so everyone knows, she is regretting everything now. And deosn't want to go out with him anymore.
*sigh* commitment problems.
I suggest we start a new topic asking what to do when you are going out with someone and don't really want to anyomore?

xx Val
see, im right. thats what always happens when you date a friend. everyone reading this BEWARE!
dont date mates. its like a rule of law/thumb/nature
it really fucks everything up.
 

transcendent

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if you have enough friends and don't mind losing one, take a chance. it's a win win situation. i told a close friend about how i felt about her and she was understanding enough not to make too much about it. i felt it was neccessary because keeping it in was killing me. it's important to let it out and deal with the consequences whatever they may be.
 

azzie

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well this thread is from ages ago and she asked him out and regretted it. most of the time it really doesnt work, especially when you're best mates. there's a reason you're best mates. really.
 

doobee

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Yeah my best guy friend has gone all out and told me that he's completely in love with me. And I didn't know what to say. First it was 11:30 and I was half asleep and seccond it was like two days out from trials so I was like, wtf> Why did he need to tell me then? ARGH guy sometimes. Especially because he knows how badly exams get to me and all that. But um yeah, I told him I didn't want to think about it until hsc is over (man I don't need complications) and apart from that one of my best mates has a major crush on him and she's like to sweetest person in the world. Argh its complicated. So then I don't know, now that I know he's been sending I love you messages almost every day (usually accompanied by a youre the most beautiful woman in the world sort of thing) and walking aout five kilometres to see me whn he doesnt have an exam and I do (and up hills and all). At first I thought it was kind of creepy, but he's really starting to grow on me and oh I don't know. Another thing that is holding me back is that he doesn't have the guts to stand up for me to some other girl (who hates me because she likes him - not the friend though - and I'm like "as if I asked for this") and all that sort of stuff. But he really is the sweetest guy in the whole world (I think) and I like him a lot. He has presumed that we definitely have a major futrue after hsc and I don't know idf we do cause I can't make up my mind (fucking indecision) and I feel bad about it because he has even changed his plans for next year (and the years after that while I'm at uni) so that he can be with me. And that really is sweet, and I really like him today, but I might change my mid again. I have till after hsc to work out what I want. I don't want to hurt him (or my friend, though it would be nice to get back at that other bitch). What do I do??
 

ediisjoz

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eww he wants to go out with a kid in year 8? that's not right...

i rekon you should tell him how you feel and hopefully he snaps out of whatever he's got himself into and want you
 

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I fell for my best guy friend... luckily he fell for me too, so him acting on it was a good thing, he's the absolute best thing in my life.

It's just about whether you think the possibility of being with him outweighs the possibility of losing him.
I'd say go for it, because if you're friendship survived the awkwardness of last year, then it could probably withstand it if it happened again.
 

Luigiz

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Hello, all. I think it may be helpful as well as interesting to look at relationships in a different way. I guess we have all been through many relationships, learnt this or that technique, suceeded and failed, but chances are we are still pretty confused about the whole thing. For many of us, our past experience, if anything, is just making us wonder whether that which we are looking for really exists. Instead of looking at relationships as a way to complete ourselves by finding something or someone who can give us what our mind says it's lacking in our lifes (i.e. a feeling of being attractive, a way out of our solitude, sex, etc.), wouldn't it make a world of difference to use our relationships as a way by which to know ourselves better? If I got to know this "mind" of mine more thoroughly, wouldn't perhaps that be the same as understanding what not to do and who not to be in future relationships so that a new outcome is possible, in the world of my relationships as much as anywhere else? Author Guy Finley says that "for the person to whom and in whom self knowledge begins to become a living force, there can be no such thing as a bad day or a bad relationship. It’s impossible, because everything that happens to us as self-working men or women is used for the purpose it was created… which is help us discover our actual condition. Then, the whole of the world and all of its whirling and confusing relationships provides us an opportunity to change the whole of our lives." Now, that really seems like good advice to at last start enjoying different relationships with people and events, doesn't it? To me, advice, techniques, tips, etc. given out so that we can lure others into satisfying our desires sounds quite manipulative and selfish. No wonder when the excitement fades and we've satisfied our need, the whole relationship starts falling apart. I am sure we can all relate to that, can't we.
What I am sharing with you has helped me to change the way I relate to others. Perhaps the idea of more authentic relationships, less selfish and more conscious, is really the true way to go. Only we have given very little thought to it up until now.
Here's a good article on relationships that may give you further insights on the matter.
I hope this helps.
Luis
 

m.c.moey

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lol.. dont go out with best friends it recks everything eventually,, coz u just noe 2 much about each other and once your in a relationship you start telling stuff to other people so that you dont hurt each other n den it all gets messy bla blaaa n u break upe ventually and stop being friends
 

Born Dancer

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Luigiz said:
Hello, all. I think it may be helpful as well as interesting to look at relationships in a different way. I guess we have all been through many relationships, learnt this or that technique, suceeded and failed, but chances are we are still pretty confused about the whole thing. For many of us, our past experience, if anything, is just making us wonder whether that which we are looking for really exists. Instead of looking at relationships as a way to complete ourselves by finding something or someone who can give us what our mind says it's lacking in our lifes (i.e. a feeling of being attractive, a way out of our solitude, sex, etc.), wouldn't it make a world of difference to use our relationships as a way by which to know ourselves better? If I got to know this "mind" of mine more thoroughly, wouldn't perhaps that be the same as understanding what not to do and who not to be in future relationships so that a new outcome is possible, in the world of my relationships as much as anywhere else? Author Guy Finley says that "for the person to whom and in whom self knowledge begins to become a living force, there can be no such thing as a bad day or a bad relationship. It’s impossible, because everything that happens to us as self-working men or women is used for the purpose it was created… which is help us discover our actual condition. Then, the whole of the world and all of its whirling and confusing relationships provides us an opportunity to change the whole of our lives." Now, that really seems like good advice to at last start enjoying different relationships with people and events, doesn't it? To me, advice, techniques, tips, etc. given out so that we can lure others into satisfying our desires sounds quite manipulative and selfish. No wonder when the excitement fades and we've satisfied our need, the whole relationship starts falling apart. I am sure we can all relate to that, can't we.
What I am sharing with you has helped me to change the way I relate to others. Perhaps the idea of more authentic relationships, less selfish and more conscious, is really the true way to go. Only we have given very little thought to it up until now.
Here's a good article on relationships that may give you further insights on the matter.
I hope this helps.
Luis
:uhoh:
 

Bookie

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doobee said:
Yeah my best guy friend has gone all out and told me that he's completely in love with me. And I didn't know what to say. First it was 11:30 and I was half asleep and seccond it was like two days out from trials so I was like, wtf> Why did he need to tell me then? ARGH guy sometimes. Especially because he knows how badly exams get to me and all that. But um yeah, I told him I didn't want to think about it until hsc is over (man I don't need complications) and apart from that one of my best mates has a major crush on him and she's like to sweetest person in the world. Argh its complicated. So then I don't know, now that I know he's been sending I love you messages almost every day (usually accompanied by a youre the most beautiful woman in the world sort of thing) and walking aout five kilometres to see me whn he doesnt have an exam and I do (and up hills and all). At first I thought it was kind of creepy, but he's really starting to grow on me and oh I don't know. Another thing that is holding me back is that he doesn't have the guts to stand up for me to some other girl (who hates me because she likes him - not the friend though - and I'm like "as if I asked for this") and all that sort of stuff. But he really is the sweetest guy in the whole world (I think) and I like him a lot. He has presumed that we definitely have a major futrue after hsc and I don't know idf we do cause I can't make up my mind (fucking indecision) and I feel bad about it because he has even changed his plans for next year (and the years after that while I'm at uni) so that he can be with me. And that really is sweet, and I really like him today, but I might change my mid again. I have till after hsc to work out what I want. I don't want to hurt him (or my friend, though it would be nice to get back at that other bitch). What do I do??
do you go to sceggs?

youre a snob anyway.

a little more couldnt hurt.

:k
 

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fly.away.fairy said:
....
The thing is he wants to ask this girl in year 8 out!! And hes in year 11. ...
I hope you are NOT referring to me, because I am in Year 11 as well and I am also interested in a Year 8 girl ... o.0

iamsickofyear12 said:
If he is in year 11 and likes someone in year 8 he is a pedo and you need to stop being his friend.
Depends if you are caught, its only illegal if you are caught ... So you mean any form of affection between two children under 16 is considered paedophilia ? ... So if a boy and a girl, both in Year 2 are kissing each other, that is paedophilia ?

So a partner will always be labelled a paedophile unless his/her partner reaches 16 ?
 
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