What does "You're a Nice Guy" Actually Mean? (1 Viewer)

[IcEy]

Yeah, looks like it.

 

[iambored]

All the girls I've gone out with were just so nice, and every time, I thought, maybe she'll be different. I mean, I don't ask for much - someone to talk to, someone to confide in, occasional sex and a compliment here and there. But for all of them, this has proven to be too difficult. Yet I seem to manage to be there for them, to not upset them, to not hurt them as they have hurt me. I mean, I'm not perfect, and yet, I seem to be able to cause so much less harm than they. Wtf?

Its not one off, isolated incidents either. Its time after time, every time. Is it me? Do I just scream "you know I'll always come back to you, so you wanna see how far you'll push me?"

I don't want to believe that I have to treat girls like shit, to play hard to get, in order to get them. I don't want to believe that they're all like that. But I know that so many of them are. So many.

My ex TOLD me to stop loving her, because then, she'll love me more. She told me to stop caring.

I can't stop caring. That's not who I am. I'm not going to act like someone I'm not to keep you. Either be someone else, and keep them, or be myself, and have them like me for someone I'm not. Hrm.

Its not like I don't give them enough space either. In my opinion, I give them too much space - space to lie all over other guys at parties, space to completely ignore me unless I'm so drunk I need to be hospitalised, space to cheat on me and hurt me. And then its MY fault because I didn't drag her off, its MY fault because I didn't make it perfectly clear what's acceptable or not. Omg...

Honestly, find other girls. There must be something in the personalityof these types of girls that you are attracted to, they all seem to be too casual, not serious enough about the relationship.

 

[SlaminSammy]

the nice guy is the guy that is nice funny sweet etc always there for you but doesnt have that certain something to make the chemistry bubble.. hes most likely the guy that you cry to when ur boyfriend is a bitch or when u break up

hes the guy you wish you had feelings for because you know how good he'd treat you but for some damn erason you just dont feel anythin...

ALL men read this quote again! READ IT AGAIN ONCE MORE! this is the best answer i have read on the subject from this forum. NEXT Read what jebbie had to say! especially the part in bold!


'Nice guy' is one of those thigns where the meaning varies. My year 1 teacher hated the word nice and refused to let us use it in our stories, she told us that it had no concrete definition and that we should be able to substitute it for a better word. (Not those words, but you get what I mean).

I call lots of guys nice. Nice can mean they were sweet; read as did you a favour. It can mean you are not their type and they are hinting; read as I like you, but as a friend. etc


But in this instance you were dating and thus I would narrow down the meanings to 2.

She could either mean that she thinks you are nice, and because of an insecurity (and don't say she isn't insecure, even if she doesn't appear so, girl's are good at hiding emotions/feelings.) she believes she doesn't believe you, because you are so 'nice' (read nice as good, kind hearted, sweet, etc).

If this doesnt sound right, then maybe it was because she thinks you are too nice and don't act enough like a boyfriend, or that she has realised she likes you as a friend - not more then a friend. If this is the case then as much as it hurts you, its hurting her.

Anyways hope thats understandable.

These two almost spell out what i consider a "nice guy" to be. Please take notice of the words... they say NICE GUY not nice.... there's a big difference there.... someone can be nice without being a nice guy! Figure that one out for yourself and really think about what i mean. WHAT IS NICE... LOL maybe you could do me a favour and while your thinking about that tell me what a woman wants.

LASTLYthe bad boy This is a quote i once read that i found very interesting. I merely stuck it in for some people to merely understand what a woman (this was writen by a woman BTW and i think that she was genually open about it) considers a bad boy to be.

"Hes a rebel without a cause, a cool dude in a motorcycle jacket, a real life huckleberry finn, who wants to take a wild riverride to adventure, wounded, moody, misunderstood, a dreamer, a seducer, a dare devil. He's a man of mystery and a fascinating paradox, both a lost little boy and a man with a dark side. He'd break your heart with his wicked ways, but whether he's a wolf or a dangerous desperado he makes you long to rescue him from his pain. He's hurtfully cruel or simply careless and selfabsorbed, but you cant resist jumping on his motor cycle and roaring off into the steamy night with him, and once you've given him your heart forever hes off with the wind. He's someone who sets off throbing sexual and aggressive passions within you, because he's aloof and elusive. You get caught up in the challenge and excitement of the chase, though hes not someone you would really want if you did capture him. A bad boy may generally tell you he's right. He's a frog you hope to turn into a fairytale prince with the magic of your kiss."

GOOD LUCK PEEPS.

 

[Captain Gh3y]

"You're a nice guy" is an open invitation for rape. Or at least that's how I'm going to interpret it from now on. Thus I shall never again become stuck as a 'friend', either way.

 

[borkis04]

Hey...well i hate talking abt myself..but in order to ask a question that really well scares me...ull need to know a bit abt me..

im a nice guy...described as "one of the nicest guys [a girl] has known"...or watever...my brain is dead due to post-HSC alzheimer's...but yeh...in the last year or so...ive had so many girls that r physically attracted to me...but then once they get to know me a bit...they..."just want to be friends" bcoz im 'too nice"...and then the next weekend...they hookup with a guy who is a complete arsehole to them...this has happened a few times..and plus by an ex earlier this year...i was treated like shit by her after we boke up...it wasnt a vicious break-up but she started fucked up rumours abt me...and i lost a few friends from it...

so my quesiton is...r the nice guys always last in life?...like ive been otld by well a family friend...who would be abt 50 or so...n she told me that ive had no luck with girls bcoz they r stupid and immature at our age...[i know its stereotyping...sorry..but ill go on so u get the gist] and go 4 dickheads...until they realize they r being treated like shit...and find out that all the nice blokes like myself and others are taken...and have merry families...is this also true?

sory for rambling on...but i jsut had to ask!

 

[iambored]

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[SuGa BunI =D]

nice guys seem to lack in the vivid dynamic personality department. i personally want to settle down with a nice guy once i want a long term relationship, knowing for the fact that he wouldn’t cheat on me, treat me well, never ever forget our anniversary, and want to share routines with ect

 

[iambored]

nice guys seem to lack in the vivid dynamic personality department. i personally want to settle down with a nice guy once i want a long term relationship, knowing for the fact that he wouldn’t cheat on me, treat me well, never ever forget our anniversary, and want to share routines with ect

to most girls, because they think like the above - isn't it a double standard that you don't want a nice guy now, so you leave them waiting while you have your fun and in the end you will come back to them?

 

[Frigid]

to most girls, because they think like the above - isn't it a double standard that you don't want a nice guy now, so you leave them waiting while you have your fun and in the end you will come back to them?

it's about which type of person satisfies one's needs best at different stages of one's life.

humans are innately selfish.

 

[7.62 BOS]

I think 'your a nice guy' means the girl is just not that into you.

 

[iambored]

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[Dreamerish*~]

but (i know things change, i know you meet and like different people blah blah but in an ideal world) if i was known as a 'nice guy' i would not go out with a girl with such double standards - if she decided to choose me as the one she wanted to settle down with after she had had her fun, if she had left me and others like me waiting, i wouldn't take her. would anyone else do the same as me?

She doesn't have the right to "reserve" you, so you're by no means obliged to co-operate.

If I were you, I'd go have my fun. See how she'd like that.

 

[Frigid]

but (i know things change, i know you meet and like different people blah blah but in an ideal world) if i was known as a 'nice guy' i would not go out with a girl with such double standards - if she decided to choose me as the one she wanted to settle down with after she had had her fun, if she had left me and others like me waiting, i wouldn't take her. would anyone else do the same as me?

have you read this articlehttp://con.ca/issues/7/9/1194 posted a two pages ago yet? if not, read it. take notes.

generalising, nice guys are suckers. even if they have been an absolute bitch to us, we'd gladly grovel at their return...

 

[iambored]

I'm reading it now. Why the hell would you not go and find another girl who will actually treat you right?

 

[Frigid]

I'm reading it now. Why the hell would you not go and find another girl who will actually treat you right?

i guess there is no why. it's irrational.

 

[IcEy]

nice guys seem to lack in the vivid dynamic personality department.

That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard.

 

[braad]

nice guys seem to lack in the vivid dynamic personality department. i personally want to settle down with a nice guy once i want a long term relationship, knowing for the fact that he wouldn’t cheat on me, treat me well, never ever forget our anniversary, and want to share routines with ect

do you ever get to know a nice guy?

i mean, yes you know them, but unlike numerous other people alot of nice guys dont just blurt what they think about things out.

 

[rosepetal25]

do you ever get to know a nice guy?

i mean, yes you know them, but unlike numerous other people alot of nice guys dont just blurt what they think about things out.

so nice guys only pretend to be nice but think evil thoughts?

 

[braad]

so nice guys only pretend to be nice but think evil thoughts?

possibly, but if you dont get to know them you will never find out

 

[Casmira]

to most girls, because they think like the above - isn't it a double standard that you don't want a nice guy now, so you leave them waiting while you have your fun and in the end you will come back to them?

exactly :uhhuh: why i wish too go for a girl that hasnt had a bf either, because id ont want some girl who goes out has the time of her life then whenever she wants go 'settle' with a nice guy? thats not fair